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Summary of Question:	Re. You Will Get Nothing With Anger And Hatred
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 8/05/2005 2:28 PM MDT

SSA,

Hi,
Not so much a question but reply to Sonia and the reference she made to the previous post. I'd like to say how helpful this site is and contribute from the other side a bit perhaps.

My situation is quite similar. I am non-sikh but have been dating a sikh guy for 13 years. ( So yes guys do date out of their religion too).

Last year, due to family pressure he agreed to an arranged marriage, until just before the engagement he realised it wasn't what he wanted and came back to me because we had more than he would ever have with the other girl.( His Mother didn't like her or her family)

I write this 6 months after the event and agree with the statement " I'm simply asking people to open their minds a little". The trouble I have had is understanding how his family, ( I say this as they are the only one's I have had contact with and don't wish to offend)who switch between religion and culture to suit there needs.

Anyway, the point I would like to make is, in short, In the last 6 months, family pressure on my boyfriend has pushed him to the depths of a nervous breakdown, contemplation of suicide and a spell under a psychiatrist and counsellor.

One year ago I gave him back to his family, religion and culture to be looked after, he came back to me which I believe is what is meant to be. I don't wish to offend and write what I say as an outsider who is trying to learn a religion, language and culture which made more sense than my own. All I ask is for people to consider people for who they are and what they are but people do need to open their eyes to the global picture and not what fits in the box.

To the moderators, Thank you for the help I have received from you in the past months and hope this can be printed to prevent the unfortunate circumstances being repeated with other people, and to Sonia it may be difficult but if it is meant to be, then it is a path that will be walked. Good Luck.

Lisa

SSA