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Summary of Question:	Clarification.
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Saturday, 11/30/2002 4:18 PM MST

first of all want 2 say thanks for do some realy good sewa!ive learnt alot and also had many questions answered....i wud like ur advice if possible; ive got this girl in my life and i think we've strong feelins 4 each other,however she is hindu punjabi and im sikh! i want 2 know y there is a general lack in encouragement 4 mixed relationships appart from the fact of the children in an relationship will be confused. i really want 2 tell my parents about this person but im frightend of their response, i have a strong feelin e]we cud be good 2getha but i dont no how 2 tell my parents.i sit in the gurdwara aking god 4 this 1 piece of help but i come out of the gurdwara no beta off than when i went in!! can u help pls????

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You already know the main obstacle to this relationship -- but in addition to confusing the children, there is the whole extended family to consider. Also, the mother has a tremendous influence on shaping the beliefs and practices of children, so it's really going to be difficult. Though you have strong feelings now, the fact is that "feelings" are not what make a marriage a success. The longer you wait to tell your parents, the harder it's going to be. And what about the girl's parents? What is their attitude? Young people's emotions are extremely powerful but unfortunately they are not dependable and most often don't last in the long term. There's no easy solution to this, but I think you'd better be honest and as respectfully as possible speak to your parents, trying to make your case, and then see what happens. Meanwhile, pray for what is BEST -- not what you think will make you happy! God knows what we need, and it's not always what we want. Blessings, SP