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Summary of Question:Life
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Tuesday, 11/25/2008 7:24 AM MST

Waheguru ji ka kalsa waheguru ji ke fateh. i have been reading topics for days, and have finally decided to put my feelings in writing! i am a bubbly person in my late 20's like everyone i have have wishes and dreams which i wish to accomplish with Guru's Ji's grace. im no Amritdhari, i cut my hair but am a vegetarian and consume no alcohol! i try my best of what knowledge i have. i remember from a very young age of being scared of death and ilnesses. i really do fear ill health and am very scared of dying because i dont want to end up in a bad place and die in suffering. from a very very young age i have feared death and always seen this world has a negative place. i have always been seeking what i am here for. Guru ji has blessed me with so much because all he has done is protect me, i am blessed that i haven't fallen in any traps (thats what i think) and haven't suffered with relationship issues because guru ji has saved me from going to deep! i have grown up around arguments and a unsettled childhood which has put a sense of scare in me. in Guru ji's eyes i feel i am a nobody, but recently i want to face my fears, because every so often they creep up and are stopping me from having fun and going forward! I like to do simran while working and walking about try to keep guru in my thoughts at all times, enjoy going gurdwara and try to be a good human being. but still i feel i am hopeless. to be honest i feel scared of Guru ji and i know that is wrong i feel that he hates me and he is very strict! of course i want wordly pleasures but recently i have begun to think above that and i want to please my guru and i want him to be happy with me. but is my trying good enough? i have started to learn Benti Chaupai paath and have been listening to it, which is so beautiful! i have a beautiful recording of this and the Rhythm is too beautiful. when i listen to it, it makes me cry and i can feel my soul kind of vibrating! if i want to go out with friends and family and do some activity i feel guilty because it seems worthless like i haven't just come to play around! sometimes i think i try too hard, i think i should relax and carry on to be a good person and leave the rest to Guru Ji. im sorry im not good at putting my feelings in words! i apologies. Please offer me your advice.


<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Wahe Guru Ji ka Khalsa
Wahe Guru Ji ki Fateh!

Bhen Ji - Thank you for having the courage to try to put your feelings in writing. You did a pretty good job of that. Let's talk about fears first. Many fears we bring into this life with us. They are called samskars. When you went through a deep trauma in a previous life, the emotional pattern of your reaction to that is carried by your subtle body as your soul reincarnates. So, unless we work through them and resolve them, fears, insecurities, doubts and irrational ways of thinking can follow us through lifetimes. That's okay. That's why we're here. To become consciously conscious of our own consciousness. That's how we can work on ourselves to break the patterns of the past. It's not just fears and such that are carried with us, but joys as well. You mention your joy in Benti Chaupai da paath. Why this bani? Because you have opened yourself to it and your soul remembers it from before.

Death is nothing. It's just like going home and changing your clothes to go out again dressed differently. It's the most natural thing in the world. Birth and death are two sides of the same coin. So why rejoice when a baby is born and mourn when someone dies? We can't have one without the other. To paraphrase Walt Whitman...

Now let's talk about your feelings. How can you release fears. They can be healed by Guru Ji's kirpaa, but you consciously have to want to let them go. It seems from your question, that you are ready to do this. The solution then is very simple. Are you ready to let your fears go? When you do your matha thaake, consciously offer yourself to Maharaj Ji. Say "I give you my fears of death and illness. I do not want them any more. Here they are. I lay them before you. I am Yours, and You are mine. Here I am, reporting for duty, Sir. Tell me what you wish me to do today." That's all. Then just pay attention and get yourself out of the way. Let each day unford, and serve as Guru Ji shows you. If you have a scary thought, say to yourself, "This thought is not mine any more. I gave it to my Guru. Maharaj Ji is dealing with it. Waheguru!"

When you belong to Maharaj Ji, you are always pleasing to Him and He is always pleasing to you.

In the Name of the Guru, the Light of every Sikh, and the Holy Naam which holds the world.

All love in Divine, .....G




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