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Summary of Question:	Plz Help! I Still Havnt Found My Answer From Anywhre Else
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 10/15/2008 4:18 AM MDT

sat sri akal

I am in a very difficult situation.
I became friends with a guy 4 yrs ago, we became the best of friends told each other evrything. My parents were looking for a guy for me, n wen they found sumone, i discussd about him wid my friend n took his advice as we were best frnds, and said yes to the guy my parents chose. meanwhile he said yes to this girl whom his parents had selesctd for him in india. only aftr that we both realised that we were in love but cudn't do anythg as i was engaged to sumone else n his family got him married. its been two yrs since all this happned, i could'nt keep up my with the my engagement and called it off. although he's married as well , we still feel strongly for ech other but its impossible to do or hurt anyone as we knw its wrong. after so many yrs i dnt think its infatuation i knw im in love with him, n wont be able to love anyone else like that. im a very simple girl, nevr been out with anyone elsealthough i hve been asked out lot of times, im vry family and work oriented, religious n true in heart but i dnt understnd why god did this with me. my parents are still looking for sumone but i truly feel i wont be able to love anyone else as much. i broke contct wid him, kept myself busy wid wrk n frnds bt nthg seems to help any one of us. if i see his wife anywhre i get vry restless n upset.
I truly believe god gives us what we ask for but im not sure wehter asking him to come back in my life is a right prayer or wrong.
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reply
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My dear,
I understand your situation for I have been there as well.
You have done well by detaching your actions and association from your former friend and his family.
BUT....you have not detached your emotions and this is where your trouble lies.
What happened between you and your friend is history. Finished. It was not your destiny.

Yet, you have a destiny and a love to express. But first you must learn to direct that love to the ONE who has been doing ALL for you. Redirect your love focus to the Siri Guru Granth Sahib.
I know you are feeling pain....but you are torturing yourself...no one is doing this to you. When you make up your mind to walk away in your head all WILL CHANGE. YOU MUST MOVE ON AND LET A GRACEFUL LOVE COME INTO YOUR LIFE. You deserve to be loved and respected. Life is not a Bollywood movie. It is real with great trials and challenges and here is yours.

You say you are simple and religious and true heart. Please sweet daughter be that which you say you are. You need your Guru Gobind SIngh bani to fight off this internal mental tape that there is NO ONE ELSE FOR YOU. You have to fight your own mind big time. You can win but you must do the work.

Walk briskly and daily for 1 hour chanting out loud....Gobinday mukunday.........and so on. Make yourself sweat. Then, you must recite the shabd " Mera Man loche Gur Darshan Taa-eeee......" All four letters of Arjan Mal to his father Guru Ram Das. Sing this as kirtan for minimum 31 min. or recite as a bani 11 times. Immerse yourself into the loving longing of the lover to the BELOVED...God and Guru Ram Das. They will help you. Pour all your love and grief into your devotion and ask for Guru;s guidance and allow it to come. Your deep intuitive wisdom will surface and you will see life as you have not seen it. Do this for one year!!!!! at least.

God bless you and KEEP UP/ Chardi Kala