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Summary of Question:	Is Baba Ji Mad With Me
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 7/30/2002 9:34 PM MDT

WAHE GURU JI KA KHALSA

WAHE GURU JI KI FATEH

I am a amritdhari girl and i had a amrit 2 years ago. i was doing my nitname everyday regurarly. everything was going fine and i was feeling great. but after a year there is lots of problems start at home . i was do stressed out so i stoped to do my nitname for few months. now i am feeling so bad about it.
now i understand i should not stop my nitname and i am trying to do it again.

but now when i am doing my path i am not finding that peace and happyness i had before during the path . i think may be he is mad on me thats why. i am crying alot froont of guru granth sahib ji and asking for forgivness. before i allways felt like he is with me all the time and he is listing what i am saying, and i allways found my answers in hukamnama's or in katha. but now i am feeling all alone and so sad. please tell me is he mad on me thats why i have these feelings? what i should do ? should i have to go to punj payaarys and tell them everythig so they can give me seva? i am so confuse and sad please tell me something .
thanks for your time
WAHE GURU JI KA KHALSA
WAHE GURU JI KI FATEH

(REPLY)
Baba Ji is NEVER mad at you - or anyone else! there is total love and acceptance from our beautiful Guru! You must be feeling some strong guilt that is making you so unhappy that you can't just enjoy your Nitnem as before. Whatever has happened at home - do you feel that it is your fault? If you are not doing anything wrong now, then forgive yourself for the past, and realize that every time you inhale, God is reaffirming his Infinite, unchanging love for you by giving you a new lease on life. Pray for help and it will surely come, and no matter what thoughts try to distract you, keep up with your daily practice.

To "confess" to a Panj might make you feel better, but really, the problem is within your own consciousness, and that is what has to change. If you didn't break the Rehit, then you don't need to take Amrit again -- if you feel that you did, then that might be the thing to do. Just like the sun is always shining, but the Earth "turns its back" on the sun every night, similarly, God and Guru are always loving us, but we turn our backs by some actions or thoughts. Are you reading the daily Hukam's from Hari Mandir Sahib on SikhNet every day? They might be a great source of comfort for you.

Blessings, SP