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Summary of Question:	I Need Urgent Reply Pleaseeeee !!! Desperate Sister
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 12/27/2005 12:06 PM MST

One of our dream is to see our youngest's sister's wedding celebrate grandly and live happily. Our dad passed away when we were very young. So, we want to give the best to our youngest sis. She is the youngest among 5 sibling. Four sisters and one brother. She is 29 now. Each time I tell her to get married and she will answer that I will when the time come. Yesterday my elder sister found out about my youngers sisters affair with a Muslim man. I was so shocked. We used to suspect that she might have a boyfriend but we did not expect him to be a muslim. And guess what ??? they have been together for more than 5 years. I am so dissapointed with her. None of us are agreed to this relationship. We haven't confront her. She has been keeping this secret from us. It was my son's birthday and she brought him and introduce to all of us. They acted as a friend. But now we got to know that they have been together for some time. My mum doesnt want to say anything. She is afraid that she might do something stupid. Because she did it before. She is very hot tempered. Once she cut her hand. She also punch the wall when she gets angry. When I tell my mum to talk to her about it, mum said I do not want her to kill herself. We lost one sis and brother before and so mum said I do not want to loose another daughter. On the other hand she's also not agreed with this relationship and too afraid to tell her.

Please , please please help me. I love my sister very much. I do not want to loose her. She is smart , intelligent, educated, fair, slim. I'm sure she can find someone better. Please tell me what to do. Please give me a paath to do so that they get separated. I will not keep any contact with her is she get married to him. Please help me. My sister is very sensitive, I know my sister very well..she will insist to be with him. Please help me.. I will not forget your help for the rest of my life.

---reply

I appreciate your trust and appreciation in us moderators, but I must emphysize that we are not magicians. We cannot predict what is God's will. We just do our best in answering your questions. It is up to you to create your own destiny and to trust in God and Guru.

When I was in college in the early 60's, I had an Afro-American male friend. When I innocently told my parents, they freaked out and said that they would disown me. Now, that did nothing but make me want to get to know this guy even more. If they had just calmly sat down with me and discussed with me why I like him and the pitfalls and challenges of dating a Black guy at that time of history, it would have been much more effective. I suggest that you do the same with your sister. Talk to her as a friend and as a sister. What does she like about him? Is she serious enough about him to marry him? Has she thought about the challenges of marrying someone of a different faith? Have they discussed these things? What about children, etc. etc. She may be "in-love" but has she/they thought about their relationship and all of the implications in the long run? Maybe they have. Maybe it will be a good match. Maybe they just need your support and blessings. Whether they are together or not is not your decision. It is her decision. Help her to look at it calmly and logically...without your judgment and emotions. BE open-hearted and allow her to open up to you. She probably wants to talk to you about this person that she has loved for 5 years. It must be hard that she has had to carry this secret for so long. You don't know what her destiny is. She may not either, but if this situation is dealt with calmly and with consciousness, she can meditate on it and know what is best for her. Let us know what happens. Blessings. GTKK