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Summary of Question:	Widowed Father-Friend Of Woman
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 2/04/2003 10:28 PM MST

Hello,

I have checked out your site quite sometimes and realized it is a great place to get some resources. I have a problem. My mother died a few years back, I can barely remember what she was like. I have an older brother and sister, and as a girl myself, I felt the loss of a mother, growing up motherless. My dad raised us, since I was about 2, on his own. Later on, about 10 years after my mother died, he met someone. She is also sikh, and has one boy. She visits us constantly, and is kind of a mother to us. Although, my father has known this woman for five years, nothing has changed, excpet for friendship. I live in a small town, and the sikh community gossips about us. They find it unacceptable for my father to see another woman, and not be married. THey are just friends, cant people accept that? I would like to know what you think about this situation.

thanks

(REPLY) Sat Nam. How wonderful that your father has such a wonderful friend who has helped to give you and your brother and sister companionship. Unfortunately, people gossip, and this is a tragedy of human stupidity. Gossip is always unkind, and that is contrary to what the Guru's taught us, Sikhs are supposed to be kind! You can't stop people from gossiping, only you can pray for them to have some compassion and otherwise, all you can do is ignore them. Be happy, and enjoy the gift that obviously this woman has brought to your family. If there were to be a marriage, that would be lovely, but it is really nobody else's business but your father's! Gossip is poison, and it is sad that people persist in putting their noses into other people's lives -- not to help, but to criticise.May God and Guru bless you. SP