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Summary of Question:	Dad Attending Daughter's Wedding
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 8/21/2002 8:14 PM MDT

Hello,

I would like to ask u a very important question as to i am very confused. First of all, my dad had left us before, and was a wife beater. There are four of us, and im the youngest. He came back into our lives just after 3 years he left. He came back with a wife and a son, and later had a daugther. He wanted things to work out with us kids, so my mom gave him a chance. Although he tried very hard, our step-mom kept us apart most of the time, she hated the fact that my dad has previous kids from another lady. My older brother and sister never gave him the chance to be the father he wanted to be. Me and my other brother did. We still were kept apart though, but we understood him most of the time. My sister anyways, is getting married now, and she didnt invite my father. My father was very heartbroken when he heard about his eldest daughter getting married and not being able to see it. So, my mom invited him, and told him to participate, but only as a guest, not a father. My sister found out and told him not to show up, and told him off, and my step-mom forced my dad to not go, and he listened. I wanna know if my sister should have let him come to the most important day of her life, and if he had a right to. I also wanna make peace between my father and his children, and our step-mom and us, but how do i do that? I told my mother that i want our step-mom to love us like her kids, and she said its all up to her, and that she should treat us like her own, not like some dogs outta the streets. She even got my brother arrested for causing a disturbance, when all he wanted to do was talk to my father, and she wouldnt let him! Plz get back to me asap, thx!

(REPLY) SAT NAM! It's very commendable that you want to make peace among all the family, but realize we cannot control how other people feel and act. We can each set an example, and do our best that way. You can also pray for the harmony and peace that you seek. In the specific question of your dad attending the wedding, as you said, it's the most important day for your sister, and I believe it is her right to say who should be there or not. So, I'm with your sister on this one. If you are are kind and compassionate and loving to everyone involved, I think you have done your duty in this family. May God and Guru bless you, and all concerned, SP