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Summary of Question:	Family
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 3/31/2005 7:10 AM MDT

Sat sri akaal,

I am seventeen years old and I have a problem that has been tormenting me for a long time now. I need your advice. A while back, some old five years ago, an argument took place amongst my parents and my nanny and nana (my mum’s parents). My nanny and nana said some really hurtful things to my parents and I was so shocked at when I heard it all. Time past and whenever we saw one another on the streets we would never ever talk to one another, let alone smile. Then around last year my nana ji past away. It was a shock. Obviously we heard this from a third person. We all went to my nanny’s house. clearly everyone was upset. I was sad but I still couldn’t bring a tear to my eye. I was angry the way he had spoke to my parents, the things that he had said, they way he and nanny treated us. The funeral came and I did not go, because I just could not forgive him. Deep down in my nanny’s hart she may have felt why I didn’t come. Everything is normal now and we all speak to my nanny normally as though nothing ever happened in the first place.

But now after all this I feel so guilty that ever since this all has happened I can not stop thinking of my nana. It was so wrong of me not to go to his funeral. My nana needed me there at the funeral and I didn’t go. How do I ask for forgiveness from my nana ji? To say I am sorry, that it was selfish of me not going to his funeral. Please help me, because I cant stop thinking of this all. Please help me.


Thank you
(REPLY) Sat Nam. We cannot change the past. We can, however learn from it. Whatever we have done, right or wrong, has brought us to this point in life, and this degree of understanding. Those who live in the past have no future. Simply learn from it to be kind and do the right thing in all present and future relationship. To continue to beat yourself up over missing the funeral does not benefit anyone. You have to forgive yourself, and move on. Please pray for right understanding, and drop the feelings of guilt -- Guilt will not change the past, and pollutes your present and your future. When you find yourself thinking about the past, that is the time to start chanting God's Name. Thoughts are just vibrations in the mind, so change and elevate your mind, and your emotions will follow. Be sure to read your banis everyday to plant the wisdom and divine awareness of the Guru in your consciousness. SP