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Summary of Question:	For A Better Future..
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Friday, 6/08/2001 7:54 PM MDT

Hi, I am currently a student in a community college. A couple of years back, I really messed up and started to hang out with the wrong crowd. I dropped out of high school here, and graduated from India my senior year, right after, I got an arranged marriage. My husband is the most wonderful thing, and I respect and love him so much. He is a very strong-minded amritdhari being. He is also very educated (pharmacist). I have also taken amrit recently (a step in the right direction), and I have been a continuing student for the past 2 years. Although I know I want to become a pharmacist one day...I can not discipline myself to sit down and study. I have dropped at least two classes each semester, and have failed quite a few also. Last semester however, I tried harder thanm usual, and managed not to drop any classes. I have an A in one class, and a B in the other, but the rest of them are C's. Can you suggest any way that will help me study more, and discipline myself so that I can get A's and then get into a repu

table university? My husband drives me to believe in myself, and I really don't want to let him, or myself down. So much is at stake since he doesn't know anything about my past. It's very important that you answer this question and maybe help me concentrate more, and become a better student, wife, and sikh, and overall, a better and successful human being. Thanks.

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REPLY
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Dear One:

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! The first thing that I want to suggest is that what you are doing now is not a reflection on your past. It is clear that you are intent on changing your life and making it better. Your intent is not at fault. I do not see how whether or not you get into a good university is going to indicate your past to your husband.

The next thing that comes to mind is this question: Are you studying to be a pharacist to prove something to yourself or because you really feel this is your calling? Your problem with studying may be a resistance to your chosen field, not to studying. Sometimes studying is less about discipline than it is about our interest in the subjects at hand. You might experiment a little with taking community college courses that simply sound interesting to you. In other words, explore a little. This may help you determine for certain whether or not pharmacology is for you, as opposed, to say, computer science. Do not misunderstand me, please. I think it is a good thing to strive and push oneself to be excellent, but perhaps you are in over your head, or are striving for something that is not what you are here for. And frankly speaking, some people just don't do so well in academia, though it in no way means they are dumb or unsuccessful. (US President George Bush got Cs at Yale University.)

There are many ways to make something of oneself. Sikhi teaches us that seva is one of the most important things we can do; it is one of the four pillars of Sikhi (bani, bana, simran, seva). Have you considered getting deeply involved in a volunteer effort that suits you, and where other people count on you? Being needed is a great motivator! There is SUCH a need for volunteers in so many avenues, such as health, homelessness, tutoring, mentoring, etc. In fact, I think that the degree to which you have ALREADY turned your life around is something for those younger than you to hear about, if at all possible. If you live in a large city, you could find yourself involved in volunteer work that you may find both rewarding and elevating. I am just giving you ideas for ways to keep striving and growing that do not require study.

OK, as for ways to better concentrate, Naam Simran practiced regularly as well as yoga can help immensely. I suggest also that you practice a meditation called "Kirtan Kriya", an explanation of which can be found by searching those words on this Forum. Kirtan Kriya is best done for 31 minutes; regular Naam Simran should be practiced at least 11 minutes at a time, at the same
time(s) every day. REGULAR exercise of any kind (something you enjoy) can also assist with concentration.

Guru gave us bani, simran and seva because taken together these gifts serve to stabilize our minds and make us pschologically fit to serve our families and communities. There are many posts on this forum that concern meditation and concentration, so you can search prior replies using these keywords.

Guru Rakha,
-DKK