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Summary of Question:	Im Sorry
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 3/04/2002 8:26 PM MST

Please help. i have kissed boys. but not sex. Im trying to stop doing things with boys but i cant stop. i am sikh i dont care what you people say. I know i am a sikh... just because i kiss boys and am 17 years old it shouldnt matter. its not a big deal. it hurts me when you say your not a sikh if you do these things.

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

I believe someone is a Sikh if he or she believes he or she is a Sikh and try with their heart to be a Sikh. In the post "Kissing and Other Things" it seemed to me like the person was trying to justify their actions. What really stuck out to me was the doing drugs part. Virtually everything you read about drugs says that drugs is bad, and Sikhi reinforces this a lot.

Now, if you just made a mistake in your life and did drugs, and are now getting help, then that is good. However, if you keep on doing drugs, while knowing it is wrong in more ways than one (morally, legally, religiously, etc.) then that is bad, and you should know that.

Additionally, in that post, the question asked for just a "yes" or "no" answer and so no elaboration was given for each answer, which would help in understanding the answer.

About kissing boys, do you think that kissing boys is a good thing? Is that somehow making you a better person? Are you closer to God because you kissed or made out with a guy? Kissing in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it is not a good thing either. Moreover, kissing sometimes leads to more things, which are bad. Let's say, hypothetically, that you start kissing a guy and in the "heat of the moment" something more happens, will that make you proud? Will you feel good about yourself? More importantly, will that somehow make you a better Sikh, closer to god?

Being a Sikh is more than just what you think you are. It requires you to be a Sikh in your heart, in your actions AND in your appearance. Being a True Sikh shows a lot of character.

Gur Fateh,
HSD