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Summary of Question:	Why Do I Cry When I Pray?
Category:	Meditation
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 1/29/2002 4:34 PM MST

Hi

I have searched through the previous questions but could not find a reply but im sorry if this is a repeat.

My 'problem' is with praying - or going to the Gurudwara - I seem to cry or feel something so strong in my heart, it hurts. I'm at University and don't get to go to the Temple often, but God seems to be in my mind all the time. I cant do anything unless I say Waheguru - eating, waking up, sleeping, meeting someone, getting on a train, etc etc. I know that's not a bad thing, but I feel as I am being watched 24 hours a day. I kind of feel happy about it, but then I also feel extremely sad, lonely, and depressed.

I have been fine for the past few months, and today as I write this at University, I have sat here for the last hour crying, trying to hide from people under the screen. I cant help it - when I feel this way, its like I need to be alone in a quiet place so I can 'communicate' with God.

I hardly ever read from a path book, do not go to the Gurudwara often, yet I still have this feeling that makes me cry so much when I am magnetised towards God.

I guess I'm writing to ask why I feel this way ?

Xxx

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REPLY
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Sat Siri AKaal. There is no embarrassment in your tearfulness. But I have two things to recommend. (1) See a therapist or counselor -- I know your University has a counselor-- and get some referrals or guidance. It is possible that you have a chemical imbalance that causes you to be depressed often. There is no shame in this, it can happen to anyone. You might need some medication. You could also see a doctor about it, but it sounds like someone who helps people deal with mental/emotional issues is best. Please do this for your health!

(2) Gurdwaras and paath can have a powerful effect on us, which is the idea. I have often been moved to tears in Gurdwara, especially when I first started attending, before I became Sikh. From what you have described, something in your subconcious that could be reflective of a past karm is activated when you are in Gurdwara or praying and this can lead to tearfulness. It is not something I can identify for you, and it is often hard to identify in oneself. That said, it is important to get a handle on your reaction. Create time daily to practice chanting the Naam. Give yourself at least 11-15 minutes to do it. Do this DAILY and it will help, over time, to clear your mind and relieve your depression.
Guru rakha,
-DKK