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Summary of Question:Question To "Get Married"
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Thursday, 7/24/2003 7:24 PM MDT

SSA, Veer ji, i am longing to ask you this question...WHY? Why arent you willing to defend and justify your decade old relationship? Why did you consider giving up? WHY? I know the guilty feeling of opposing your parents..after all they have done SO much for us...it makes you sick to your stomach..everyday! But, this isn't uncommon. Mostly, guys and girls get in relationships, some long term, make promises and when the time comes...their parents make a opposite stand and you bail on ur love. IS it fair to the girl who stuck by you for 10 yrs? Have you thought what it can do to her self-esteem? Did you consider her at all? Well..you may feel attacked..i am sorry about that veer ji, its just that...your situation is all TOO familiar. Its happened to many girls i know, which makes me stay the hell away from guys. Pardon my attitude please. Being a medical student, i can say that you must be incredibly well grounded person. If you can go through the tough experiences of anywhere from MCATs to the 35 hr long shifts during residency..why can't you stay grounded for this? Its a test, please consider both sides before you decide to bail on the person who loved you for a decade. Infactuation and physical, sexual stuff is easy to pass...but tru love...you are so lucky that you have found it. It will the biggest test in your love to prove your relationship to your parents. But consider all ends before you decide to give up.I may have come across very blunt. I can tell you from a girls point of view...it hurts...lifelong. Lastly, it isn't fair to ur arranged wife that your heart has been with someone else, and it is possible that you may NEVER love her the way you love your sweetheart now. From your sister's request, please think again, and wish you most luck and blessings in your struggle. I hope you can reach a common ground with your parents and create a "win-win" situation. It will be hard, but you can do it because you have waheguru in your corner. Dont loose your faith. I apologize for any wrong sayings.

R.K



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