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Summary of Question:	I Want To Forget My Past
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 7/16/2002 6:13 AM MDT

wahegure ji da khalsa..waheguru ji de fateh..

im manmeet,studying in class 12th now.i had fallen in love with a girl named nandita,inclass 10th..at first when i proposed her she said yes but later she was uncomfortable with this relationship so she said no..but now v r very good friends but i still have the same feeling for her.also,i dont want to fall in love again.so can u please suggest me something?
(REPLY) You're asking how to avoid falling in love? There is no real answer to that except to say that you have to be constantly aware of your feelings, and recognize that they are just that, "feelings" --and as painful as those feelings can be, they are not who you are, nor are they the person you're going to be when you grow up. At your age "falling in love" is usually being strongly attracted, infatuated -- and it's not the real, lasting love that can come with maturity. Unfortunately, the emotions are so strong that unless you keep yourself very busy with other things, and other people -- you're liable to "fall" again. You probably need to keep away from this girl -- just trying to be "friends" usually doesn't work in this kind of situation, and you'll end up getting hurt again, since you say you have the same feelings for her. We can't make anyone love us, so it's not a good idea to try -- but I'll bet that you're secretly hoping that she will be more than a friend to you! People can make themselves miserable by "falling in love" -- I hope that doesn't happen to you. Love should be a mutual, happy, joyous sharing, not a frustrating, misery creating emotion! Blessings, SP