Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Re: Personal Challenge
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 12/14/2003 7:38 AM MST

Hi, I would just like to share my thoughts about a previous post referred to as a "personal challenge".

I would share that personally whenever I am in any troubled situation (I'm not married and have not been in a situation like this) but what I have learned is that the best decisions I have made are usually when I listen to my gut feeling and that does not involve me sitting down and thinking and pondering over my problem endlessly. How I do it is first and foremost I put my absolute and complete faith in Waheguru and then I usually make a " sukh"( You probably understand the word, I got it from my mom: its like a promise) of dong a certain number of Paaths(11,21,31.......), maybe in your case Sukhmani Sahib would be helpful and I promise myself that during that time I am going to completely step back(literally giving my problem to Waheguru to take care of), meaning I'm not going to think about my problem at all and absolute no negativity should come in your mind about the situation. I know it might sound hard under the circumstances but honestly, it really works and also that you haven't yet moved in with your husband it'll actually be a lot easier to do this because you are not surrounded by it at all times. I know it is very tempting to think and think and try to figure things out but especially in such cases, one gets too involved emotionally, to make a sound decision. And also it might be very hard but try to not talk to too many people about it, especially women, unless its someone who can give you advice in a very non-judgemental way, maybe your mother if she can put emotions aside.
(I'm sorry but from what I have seen in my life I think Indian women would have a lot more success and happiness in their marriages only if they stopped listening to others, because usually women tend to give advice based on their own situations and circumstances and that's not always applicable to your situation.)
Just, listen to your gut feeling and the way doing the above helps me is that it gives me a lot more mental clarity to see the problem more clearly without getting completely overwhelmed with my emotions.
Lastly, I really hope that everything works out for you and this experience only makes you stronger and wiser without making you bitter. No lesson learnt ever goes to waste and please listen to yourself and make your decision based on what your dreams are and what your expectations are of him and of yourself. And really try to not let negativity enter in your thoughts or mind because deep down I know for an Indian girl who can be courageous enough to stand up for her beliefs and take Amrit despite of her father's objections, God, I cannot imagine your faith to falter that easily.
Just have faith in God to guide you and have belief in what your heart tells you. You'll be fine.
Love and best wishes to you.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. This is worth reading!