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Summary of Question:	Sikh Woman Want's To Marry A Hindu Parents Not Ok With It.
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 1/07/2004 4:11 PM MST

My sister has told my parents that she will marry a hindu guy. They obviously don't accept him because he's a hindu. She has been dating this guy for 7 years and are finally at the end of this year planning on getting married. My parents know that she is going to marry this hindu. My sister and this hindu guy are planning on doing a hindu ceremony and the sikh one is giving us some problem. Because we don't know who to go to in order to preform it. Sikh's are harder to handle when it comes to inter marriages. My parent's totally don't agree with my sister. Also my sister is not even doing a reception. Every girl wants a reception. my question is how do you make two family's get together. because my family does want to speak to there family.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You say "Every girl wants a reception." So, you don't believe your sister when she says she doesn't? It would seem if they have been dating for 7 years, that they have made up their minds and I would assume that all the problems of an intermarriage have been discussed and evaluated. So, why are you making this YOUR problem? OK, you love your sister, and you want everyone to be harmonious and it would be lovely to get the families together, but it's not your responsibility. If your family wants to get together with his family, then they should phone them or write them, and if his family wants to contact your family, they should do the same. But, it's up to your sister and her fiance to try to make this happen. If they think that after marriage parents will "come around" --- well, maybe... But it seems your sister is ready to isolate herself from your family by this marriage (I assume your parents are indicating that????) Basically, the best you can do is pray for harmony and understanding among all those concerned, and leave the results to God. We can't MAKE people do or feel anything --even when it's in their best interests. We can try to convince and encourage, but everyone makes their own choices and then lives with the consequences. Blessings, SP