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Summary of Question:	Arranged Marriages Vs. Love Marriages?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 1/13/2002 2:59 PM MST

Why are there arranged marriages? I need to know because of my project. Thanks. Why can't sikhs have love marriages? Why is it considered a bad thing?

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal Ji. ARRANGING marriages is an Indian cultural custom. It is NOT a requirement of Sikhi, in the West or in Asia. Sikhs do indeed marry out of love, both in the West and in India. Arranging marriages for one's son or daughter is a custom that dates back centuries in India as well as many other Asian and Muslim countries. The reasons for arranging of marriages are cultural, social, economic, and religious. Many many arranged marriages turn out to be quite successful, where both parties fall in love with each other, or learn to love each other. In that sense, I think the success rate of arranged marriages is not necessarily better or worse than love marriages, which (in the West at least) break up as often as they last.

From what I've seen, the reason love marriages are frowned upon by people in cultures where arranged marriages are typical is that the ones falling in love do not consider their families' status, social or economic considerations. Some parents don't like not controlling that part of their children's lives; others are worried about some idea of social or caste status that the ones in love don't care about. (Our Gurus forbade Sikhs to follow caste, but it is still done.) And in some cases, the ones in love are really NOT suited to each other, and the parents see that but the ones in love don't. But this last reason can apply to arranged marriages too!
Guru rakha,
-DKK