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Summary of Question:	How Do I Forgive Myself?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 6/17/2001 5:24 PM MDT

Hi, I have read the many posts on forgiveness. I understand that god forgives when u make major mistakes, sinned-even when warned. Now i know the gurus path is always the best path. However, how do i forgive myself. I do not know how. Everyday i think of what i have done. The people most affected by what i have done do not know. I hope the will never know. It would cause great sadness and madness, i want to be forgiven and move on but i don't know how. Where does it say in the guru granth shaib that god forgives sinners? Does it? Please help me-I am worried sick. I cannot concentrate on praying, on work or life or goingout, because of my past deeds. I'am a stupid girl that does not use her brain. Now i have to live the rest of my live in darkness. Help me God. Does god love sinners. God is so ever great than.

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REPLY
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Dear One:
Sat Siri Akaal. Stop beating yourself up, dear, that's the first step to self-forgiveness. We all make mistakes. You are victorious in that you have RECOGNIZED in yourself that you made mistakes. This is the first step. Guru Nanak said that there are all kinds of people made by the Creator: read translation of his pauris 17-19 in Japji (find them here: http://www.sikhnet.com/sggs/translation/ and insert "1" for the page number.) Another victory of yours is recognizing that Guru's path is the best path. Guruji must have wanted you to learn a lesson, dear, and you have clearly learned it. Stop living in your past and the shame of it. Make a real effort to NOT DWELL on thoughts of the past. Dwelling in the fear of family finding out is more likely to attract that to you: we tend to attract to ourselves the things we fear most. Start acting as if NOTHING happened. What you did is between you and Waheguru now, not you and them.

A simple way to practice self-forgiveness is to DO IT, but do it over and over. Whenever you start to think of your mistakes, say I Forgive Myself for these things and now I am moving forward from them".

Gurbani is full of references to how the Lord "writes off the account" of the sinner, and forgives us, and of how utterly compassionate He is. Here are several:
Jaap Sahib, pauri 109 : Ki afooal gunah hai(n) " He is the forgiver of sins"
4th Mehl, Gauri Bairgans: SGGS, p. 167-168, shabads 49-52 (please look them up on site noted above)

Sukhmani Sahib: First Ashtapadee after Slok 16, page 283
kirpaa niDhaan da-i-aal bakhsand.
the Treasure of mercy, compassion and forgiveness.

Also, page 289, last ashtapadee before Slok 20
ayk araaDh paraachhat ga-ay.
Adoring the One, past sins are removed.

The best way to adore the One is to practice Naam Simran. This will help clear your subconcious mind of the pain of your past. There are many ways to do this, you can search "meditation" on this Youth Forum, or you can sit down with a mantra tape and DO IT. Practice 11 minutes a morning to start, then increase it slowly as long as you can. Another thing I HIGHLY recommend is that you get yourself Siri Guru (in Gurmukhi, or English, or both) and begin a Sehej Paath to learn the basics of what is in Siri Guru. Doing this will also help ease your mind, dear.

Know that Waheguru HAS forgiven you because you are sincere in wanting forgiveness and in doing the right thing. Now start acting upon this knowledge, dear.
Guru protect and guide you always,
-DKK