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Summary of Question:	Why Do Sikh Daughter In Laws Get Treated So Badly
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/02/2003 10:10 PM MDT

I am a wife, mother, daughter, daughter in law,etc.I have done everything to try and make my mother in law as comfortable as possible the only i do not like to is gossip and she does. This makes me the evil one. Why do we at this day and age have to put up with such crap.????

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I agree with you. Its horrible and totally unnecessary. What perpetuates it is the attitide of the husband or son, in other words, your husband. If he goes along with it, it will be perpetuated. My sons would never stand for such negative behavior from me to their wives. In fact, I know that if I want to keep peace in the family, my mouth must be sealed. They have their own lives and must live it as they feel best. Their priority is to their families, not to me. I will give advise only if asked, and then I am very, very careful about how I give it. I make sure that I make friends with my daughter in-laws...and we are actually very close. I love them like my own daughter...I benefit personally. Because of this, we all have a wonderful relationship and fun together. We actually like eachother and have very fun and meaningful times together. So, you have to work on your husband. If he puts his mother in her place, your harrasement will stop. What if it continues? If you live with them, threaten to move out. If you don't live with them, threaten to not visit or talk to them on the phone any more. Believe me, she will come around. Wanting to see her grandchildren will make he wise up. But, your husband has to be the one to inforce this. If he won't, you will have to face some hard decisions. God be with you. Its a hard one. GTKK