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Summary of Question:	Marrying A Kesh Rehat Sikh
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 2/06/2003 11:33 AM MST

I have been talking to a guy online for over a year now. He came to my city once and we had good time just hanging out together. Now he came back again but this time he asked me if we could marry. I told him that i like him very much but its upto my parents to decide for my marriage. And he agreed to go by my parent's advice. Even though i like that guy very much i have a few problems:

firstly, i want to be an amritdhari someday and that guy is not even a keshdhari at the moment. Is it right on my part to have told him that i like him?

Secondly, i haven't talked to my parents about any of this. but we (me and the guy) have been talking about it and he's planning to tell one of his relatives so that his parents can come over to my parents with a marriage proposal. I don't want to tell my parents that i knew him before since thay might feel that i have deceived them in someway (by planning my own marriage). but what i want to ask is, have i really deceived them? If not, why can't i get the feeling of guilt out of me??
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Reply
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Khalsa ji,

Firstly, I would reccommend that you have a talk with your parents about this "relationship" you have been cultivating. Be very clear with them that you want to share this experience with them.

You may find that you will change the way you feel about this relationship after seeing it through their eyes. Right now, it is a very private and exclusive process for you. I can see the mystique of this. It is not public nor is it out in the open. There is a lot of imagination involved in this friendship.

Is this a person that shares your value of Sikhee? Perhaps he is simply filling your need for a "safe" place to explore how to have a relationship with a man. Think about this and consider the suggestions and wisdom of your parents.

God bless you, SKKK