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Summary of Question:	Stresses Of College Applications
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 11/04/2002 11:30 PM MST

Sat Sri Akal!

I am currently a high school senior from Maryland, USA. Right now is the time for college applications. So far I have a list of 12 colleges to which I am thinking of applying. Some of the colleges are some of the top in the US. However, the pressure of trying to figure out whether applying to so many is worth the work and fees. The reason I am applying to so many is because I am thinking of going into economics/finance or engineering and some of the schools are excellent in one and others in the other. Also because of the different locations the different colleges fit me for different reasons.

The thing is I am torn between wanting to be close to my family, but at same going to a great college that would help me in the future. Also, recently I have learned and feel that, for me life is about family, God, love, warmth, happiness, satisfaction, so on. I know for sure now that I value those things much more than pride, arrogance, etc. However at the same time I have always been competitive since I was little and still feel that to move this world I need to continue to be competitive and want to be best. It's hard to explain exactly what I mean. My parents encourage me to apply to the colleges I wish to possibly attend. They say that God will help decied which one is best. And I agree, completely. Yet I just have this little fear that makes me think that what if alll of those years of hardwork in school will go to waste. This college application process is so difficult (as you know already). I have never had a nervous breakdown, but one night I did have an anxiety attack. Since then my parents push me even harder to relax, do my best, but at same time not care. I also hate how the stress and continuous hours of work are distracting me from being able to concentrate on God and praying, even though I still pray as same as before, I just feel that I am always too worried to bask in God's warmth. Fortunately at this moment, at this time I am very relaxed and have been able to change that mentality and return back to my happy self. I think the change came after I spent a friday afternoon with my mom and we talked about my anxieties. My parents also are watching closely now if I get the needed amount of sleep and if my diet contains all that I need. So now I just need to decide on how to approach this silly college application process.

thanks a lot!
and I hope this inquiry made sense.
h. kaur
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Keh Fateh
(REPLY) Sat Nam. Your inquiry makes perfect sense. It is quite understandable. I think you are fortunate to have such wise and loving and supportive parents. Here's one practical way to choose. My suggestion to you is to sit down with a pencil and paper and list all of the factors you have to take into consideration: i.e. location close to family? caliber of the college? specialization in which field? Expense? etc. And then assign a number value to each according to how much importance this factor is to you. Then make two columns, one heading is PROS and other is CONS and annalyze each school individually, using some system of numbers. It's a sort of computerized analysis done by hand! Instead of having all these things buzzing around in your head, when you get them down on paper you'll be able to think more clearly. Also take into account the principle of "short term loss for long term gain." (if you have to go to a school far away,will it serve you better in the long run for your future?) I don't think any of your hard work in school so far has been wasted because you sound like an intelligent and caring person! Now, along with your practical analysis, this is a situation about which you can meditate and pray for guidance, and in the early morning hours, when everything is quiet, and you've been chanting God's Name, and reading your banis, then ask for guidance, and let God and Guru come through for you as you listen to the inner voice of wisdom. Please do not worry, everything will work out according to God's will, it cannot be otherwise! Blessings, SP