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Summary of Question:	Re: American Girl In Love With A Sikh Guy
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 6/30/2004 1:21 AM MDT

Dear Erica,

I know somewhat of how it is to be in your shoes. My sweetie-pie (also a Sikh) and I have been faced with major challenges on cultural and religious lines, too. I also know and talk to many couples who have struggled with cultural and religious differences.
Please forgive me for being blunt, but it looks to me that your problem isn't cultural or religious differences. It looks a lot more like your sort-of boyfriend lacks principles and backbone, not to mention any healthy amount of respect for you, and blames all of his behaviour on his mom, his culture, and his religion. How offensive is that? What's even worse is that you're willing to bend over backwards to please him, his parents, and the whole Sikh community, and for your efforts you can expect people to call you a "floozie" behind your back. Just how much does this guy care about you to permit you to be humilliated like this?
There is a huge difference between this guy's behaviour and that of someone who is sincerely trying to bridge cultural differences and make a relationship work. Just so you know, women are respected in Sikhism, and there is no room within it for the kind of chauvinism that this guy is displaying towards you. My advice is: by all means, have a blast learning about Sikhism and Punjabi culture, but stay away from this guy who doesn't even treat you like a friend. Pray that he has a long and happy life -- far away from you!