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Summary of Question:	Reply - Double Standard
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/30/2003 4:10 PM MDT

Hi, Its funny how girls can't go to a movie or mall during the day with their close girlfriend, but guys can home during all times of the night...i know many can relate to your frustration...this is what i did about it, and hope it leads you some place...

First, i observed my parents to see what will make them listen to what i have to say, not "hear" me but LISTEN and try to see my point...that took a while.
Next, I approached my dad (im close with both mom and dad) just mentioned that its not safe for my bro to come home SO late. Point out things, don't blame them.
THen...approached mom on what harm will there be if i went to the mall with a kuri girl friend...i think asking dead end questions like "why can't i go?" lead to just that...take u to a dead end...be creative with how you approach things...sounds kind of tricky but i get my way now. Truth is, in our cultures, the female carries the family name and parents or in-laws just don't want to jeopardize it or they don't think we (girls) know how important it is to carry ourselves in a certain manner. Let them know and MAKE them understand (with love and patience) that we know what our limits are, we know what our parents rep is, and we value all of it as MUCH as they do...see what kind of wonders it will work .....I am 22, and my parents let my grades decide what i can do...show them your working hard on getting your future straight, you have a direction in life and you just wanna go to the MAll!!!
Hope this helps.
=o)

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Congratulations! You seem to have worked out the way to COMMUNICATE successfully with your parents. I hope others will do the same. The thing is, that parents have to have a trust in you, that your word is good, and you do know what proper behavior is, and you won't cross the line. Blessings,