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Summary of Question:	Wife Wants A Tattoo
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/31/2004 1:20 PM MDT

Hi, I need advice regarding my future wife. She wants to get a tattoo of my name in a spot that I will only see. She says that it reminds her of her commitment to me and that she belongs to me. While when I heard this, I was amused becuase, I would not get one, nor would I encourage anyone else to. I am at a fork in the road because I should be supporting her in everything, and if I say i dont like tattoos then she wont get it. But that seems like im only forcing her not to get it. What should I do? I dont want to be a forceful husband. Like I dont even want our kids to know that she has one,because that will make them want one. I have told her that her commitment to me is in other ways.

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You are in a funny, but not so funny situation. I would continue to discuss all of the ways you are committed to eachother. Inspire her that you love her just the way she is. She doesn't need to change her body in any way to make you love her more or to remind her of her love for you. God perfectly created both of you - there is no need for any changes. Try to inspire her. It is a husband's job to inispire his wife if she is going in an ungraceful direction. You don't have to be forceful...be loving, kind and inspire her...but also be direct that this is not what you would want her to do, because you love her. A woman needs her man to be strong and some times directive...not controlling, demeaning or judgmental...but directive. Some times we make whimsical, fadish decisions that we regret later. We get caught up in the passion of the moment and forget the consequences that may haunt the future. At least, encourage her to wait. If she needs to demonstrate her love and commitment for you, brainstorm with her another way she can do that...maybe some very uplifting way that you can do together. There are so many ways you could do this. Be creative and fun. And...a most uplifting way is to serve others, in honor of your love for one another. Good Luck. Blessings. GTKK