Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Feeling Of Shame
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Friday, 6/29/2001 9:41 AM MDT

sat shri akal,

im 20 yr old sikh boy from delhi.im very devoted sikh but i m not baptised.i never trim my hair .i beilive in not to fight or quarelwith any body.last night i was coming from somewhere my bike got puncher.i was replacing the tyre . sudenly two boy came start giving abuses to me just for fun.i take my bike and came back to home.but i couldn't sleep whole night as i was thinking that im coward. somebody is giving me abuses and i came back without doing anything.the feel of shame is in my mind.i cant understand why peopleare so un human i dont say thing bad to them then why they treat me like this.is i m
coward or im stupid. please reply me.

*******
REPLY
*******

Dear One:
Sat Siri Akaal.

As a Sikh, you would have been in your rights to defend yourself, especially if the abuse was physical. I do not see you as a coward, however. First of all, if you are not trained in martial arts, you may have been badly hurt, since you were outnumbered. (It's not clear if you were physically abused or only verbally abused.) While there are those who will tell you that you should have fought back, I think that in such a case where others weaker than you were NOT involved, there is nothing to be gained in fighting back and losing. Guru Gobind Singh tells us that when ALL other means of persuasion have failed, THEN it is just to take up the sword. Understand too, that those who abused you have no self esteem or positive sense of self. Abusing and slandering others makes them feel important and respected, but in the end they are NEITHER.

Secondly, if the abuse was only verbal, you did the right thing to leave and go home. Siri Guru tells us that those who slander Gursikhs take on the karma of the one they slander. You gain nothing by slandering them back. You can find further details of this concept by reading this post in Youth Forum: "Self-Defence And Name Calling" Date Posted: Tuesday, 6/19/2001 8:27 AM MDT. (Find it by using the title as searchwords.)

I suggest you consider study of gatka or some other martial art defense form, because this will give you training in HOW to defend yourself, but also discipline and training in WHEN physical defense is called for. Martial arts training will give you self-confidence in how best to face such situations should they arise again.

Guru rakha, Always,
-DKK