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Summary of Question:	Teenagers
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 11/20/2000 4:22 PM MST

Hi,

I am a sikh and was wondering do we have to follow all of these rules? I mean what if in the past you have made some choices that were not so great. I admit at my school " going out" is the thing and i have done it a lot of times before. Is that bad? I have gone to parties where guys were there. I swear mostly everyday and i need to stop. I have talked to guys on the phone also. I am 16 years old. My parents say that these things are " bad" im so confused. What can i do to make up for all these mistakes? and should i tell my parents about what i have done?
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Reply
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Greetings to you in the Name of God the light of every soul and in the Name of Guru the life of every Sikh.

Dear one, spend your time and thoughts being immersed in and grateful for your divinity, your God self. Confess to your grace and greatness. Aspire to be a radiant grace of God, a graceful woman. This is the way that will bring you happiness with yourself and harmony with your future husband.

Your parents are saying that they do not want you to date or hang out with just any guy. They want you to learn how to handle yourself gracefully. Kids dating and having casual sex and sex before marriage does not help you.

When you are growing up, you are learning about yourself and your spirit and the world. When you have balance in your life, you can learn to make healthy choices.

Be clear about yourself. Decide your limits and then live by your own guidelines.

Spend some time every day reading your
"Jap Ji Sahib" in English (http.www.sikhnet.com/s/gurugranthsahib)under English translation. Raed it aloud and listen to your voice. Understand what Guru Nanak is saying. Do this for the next 90 days. You will gain great depth and wisdom and understand the meaning of life and your grace,