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Summary of Question:	Confious.
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 3/01/2009 4:20 PM MST

i have just got married 3 months ago,i m mal n my wife is an aust..wel its was an arranged marrige,,wel after marrige my wife become a stubbent doesnt wan do house work,when ever i said anything to her she fights with me eventho i ask her to cook for me, says cook by yr self,,wel most of the house work i do it by my self,,not to say shes bad but i wan her to show me her wife responbilities to me,we had 3 major arguments n she tels me that her nephew sisters n her familys a more importent n the come first,i m in aust n cant work due to marrige document still under process..but i m follows the rules n regulation as a sikh n i tol her that u not respecting the rules of the 4lava which we took in front guru grant sahib n u a not respect me i m yr husband,but she doesnt cares for all things,n she pays more attention to her friends on the facebook on the internet n she doesnt spend time with me..wel if this is marrige life wel i rather be single n do more sewa for guruji which was what i was doing before n i was very hapy,,now it seems like everything is gone i m back to zero..i can go gurdwara cant do sewa,she has stop me from doing all this things fr me..my soul cries everyday my link to guruji has been going far away,,what ever i explans to her about sikhi she doesnt believe n makes fun of me..it realy hurts.plz help.

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

No, that's not marriage, and you will NOT get what you want by fighting with her, complaining or ordering her around.

You will get what you want by being mutual with her.

Be kind, be a good listener and do things with her, side-by-side. Without mutuality, kindness and commitment there is no marriage. You have to work at it.

Don't blame her for your unhappiness with your Sikhi. That is between you and your Guru. No one can come between you.

Marriage is living as one soul in two bodies. Stop bugging and start hugging.

.....G