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Summary of Question:	Trying To Understand
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Sunday, 5/27/2001 3:20 PM MDT

I have gone through other questions, but I do not think I do not think you hae answered it completely. I have just lost my first cousin 41/2 months ago, and it has been very hard. He was a young boy of 18 years old and was murdered. Family members have told me that this was what was "written" for him. Before my cousin passed away, he was in a coma, and everyone prayed like crazy for him to get better. My question is why is it that Waheguru has taken the live of an innocent person at such a young age? Why is it written for some people to die young, and not for others? What was the point of praying to Waheguru for him to get better, when everything is already "written"? If "God" is all knowing , and all powerful, why didn't he make my cousin better? Will something happen to the man who killed him? And most importantly, will I be reunited in heavan after with everyone? Please completely answer these questions, they may sound a little bitter, but I am still grieving and it is so hard to make sense of

everything!

Thanks

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REPLY
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Dear Dete:

Sat Siri Akal Ji. Please realize that grieving is often a long process, and do not be hard on yourself about this. Give yourself time. It is especially hard when the death is so tragic, I think, and unexpected. It takes a while to let go, but the most important thing you can do (as you grieve) is to let him go, turn him over to loving care of WaheGuru.

That said, your family members were correct in saying that his death was 'written' on his forehead. All of us on this earth have Karms or Karmas (depending on how you pronounce it). Karmas represent the law of cause and effect. In the case of your cousin, something he did (cause) in this or a former lifetime had the effect you have seen: his death. Understand that for reasons you will probably NEVER know, your cousin had a Karma that meant his life was taken early. Speaking generally, this can be so for anyone, such as babies, teens, old people, etc, although their karma does not necessarily result in murder! Karmas come in all types of challenges and joys of the human condition. (That's why you might hear about 'good karma' or 'bad karma'.)

We never know when Death will call, or how it will call; and we never know when a Karma of any kind comes back to us. Pray for him, that his karma is cleared (or paid). I could go on about Karms /Karmas but it's probably better that you search this Youth Forum under either of those keywords to see what else has been said.

Prayer has an astounding effect. It has been known to bring people back from comas and near death, and to speed emotional or physical healing. It could well be written that one was to die by such and such a cause, but prayer and the mercy of WaheGuru brought someone back from the brink of death. It could well be, for example, that had your cousin lived, he would have been on life support. My point is we do not know all God's plans; but rest assured that if WaheGuru deemed it appropriate, your cousin would have survived. We cannot second-guess Waheguru is the lesson. And your prayers for your cousin (before he died) served no doubt to help him cross over to WaheGuru.

As for the man who killed him, if he is found or known he will probably be brought to earthly justice (I do not know where you live or the laws of where you live). But rest assured that he has created a karma for himself. God is the Final Judge and the law of cause & effect means the killer will (continue) to have unhappy experiences and likely have a tragic death as well. In other words, you cannot take revenge. All 'revenge' -- which is really Divine Justice -- is WaheGuru's.

Sikhi teaches us that if we sincerely work to remember WaheGuru and keep our Dharm as Sikhs, that we cross over and are merged with WaheGuru. My understanding is that even if it is not our time to merge with WaheGuru, we will be reunited with our loved ones on 'the other side.' Said differently, know that at some point on some plane of Being, you will see your cousin again. Know that his Spirit, his Soul lives, he has just lost his physical form. Keep him in your prayers, for prayer serves anyone WHEREVER they exist.

I hope this helps you. Guru Rakha!
-DKK