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Summary of Question:	Taking Care Of Others Vs. Meditating
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 8/13/2002 11:02 PM MDT

Dear Sir,

One is always insisted on meditating to get God or always be in service of God. Even at home i see the husband or wife is always doing path or reciting gurbani but unaware of their responsibilities for wife/husband or children. Respect to Guru is must and essential but without fulfilling their responsibilities, how one can get God. Only getting the God is everything in the world. Our preachers always tell us to remember the God or do service for him by doing path, Bhakti etc. Nobody teaches us how to live in this life which is full of tension and obstacles and hectic. Sometimes, I just get frustrated to see all these things.

Rani

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal, Rani,
Guru tells us in Sukhmani Sahib of the benefits to one's life of naam simran. The idea is that one meets the challenges of life in the sukhsahej one attains through Naam Simran. Guru never encouraged Sikhs to meditate like a hermit. The beauty of Sikhi is that it tells us how to attain liberation as householders, when for so long it was believed that the only way to attain it was to be born a Brahmin or to live as an ascetic.

The person who meditates without fulfilling responsibilities as a parent or spouse is not following all what Guru taught. Guru gave us two things to do as Gursikhs: meditate on the Naam and serve others selflessly. You have every right to ask those in a household to remember this second teaching. Is not looking after a family and ensuring familial well-being a seva, when done without attachment or grudging? It is a form of denial to think that one can meditate only and not be a householder in a household. If someone only wants to meditate and nothing else, then they should go live as a hermit.

Guru NEVER said to meditate and NOT fulfill responsibilities to family. Guru did say that we should not attach ourselves to our families. Attachment here means emotional attachment; it means thinking that we exist solely for our families and that they exist for us. This attachment applies to all aspects of the mundane world. Our Gurus taught us to that a Gursikh never begs or lets others provide for him/her. S/he works honestly. IGNORING family responsibilities is a kind of denial, it is not spiritual. Rather, the wise Gursikh makes meditation a family practice, and engages ALL family members in the practice together. FOr example, reading paath together, singing kirtan together in Babaji's room, chanting the Naam together. I'm sorry I can't give you a cite, but I have seen in Siri Guru Granth Sahib shabds that say in the sadh sangat the Gursikh attains his Guru. A wise Gursikh makes his/her family their sadh sangat. In the west it is said: the family that prays together stays together.
I hope this helps. Guru rakha,
-DKK