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Summary of Question:	What Should I Do?
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Sunday, 6/27/2004 4:06 PM MDT

HI, I a have dilema. I am getting married next year, and I am engaged right now. We are both students and will be after were married. She will be moving into our house, which is about thirty years old. It is a nice house with a lot of value. Now she is passing hints that she wants a new house. Also she keeps looking at expensive rings. At first I tried explaiing to her that I am in school too, so things wont be easy in the beginning, until we are set in careers. That didnt work, so I said it right out to her. I said that she makes me feel bad and poor when she talks about the things she wants, and I cant provide. I am telling you, I treat her so well, and now thats not enough. Why doesnt she understand that we are still young and students. I feel pathetic that I came clean to her and said that I can probally afford about $1000 for a ring thats all, she wants one that looks like five times that much. Sure I can do what everyone else does, and get my parents to do it, but no way, Guru ji has raised me better then that. We cant wait to get married, and wait until were done school, cause its too hard. And honestly we will be living with my parents, so things wont be different then they are now. Expect that we will be together. I know were marrying young, but thats not always a bad thing. What should I do? When I say to her that she has to be less materialistic, she wont listen. She does these things and when I point them out she takes offence. Students cant live expensive lives, thats just reality.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I am sorry to say that it seems you are going to have a miserable life if you go ahead and marry this materialistic, unrealistic woman. If you think it's bad now, just wait until you are married and she continues to nag you and may even run up debts to satisfy her greed. If she won't listen to you now, how do you expect she will listen after she is your wife? Have you told your parents about her attitude? I really think you should warn her that you will break the engagement if she doesn't change her attitude. I don't know what repercussions that may make between your families, but do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to please this unreasonable woman? May God bless you and Guru guide you with wisdom and courage to use common sense! SP