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Summary of Question:	Masturbation, Pornography & Religion
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 2/01/2003 1:12 AM MST

guru piare jio,

i belong to a sikh family. i use to do nitnem daily.but i can't control my sex feelings. everytimes i made my mind not to see porn sites, to see every lady as sister, mother , & not to do masturbation but i can.t control.i always do ardas in gurudwara that from coming day, i will not do this, but i cant plz help me wat shall i do to get rid of this.

also why doing nitnem & naam jaap cant help me to get rid of this habit although i know that is not right from point view of our religion. plz help.
bhul chuk di khema.

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I guess I would want to know a few things about you before I answer this question. How old are you? If you are a young teen, you could be experiencing an imbalance in your harmones, causing your sexual desires to be uncontrollable. This is pretty normal, I think, for young teens. It will pass, as your harmones balance. I would also want to know if you are an older young man and are horney from not having sex. Are you ready to get married and have a healthy sex life with a wife? Sex is not the reason to get married, of course, but if you are ready for the commitment, then it is something to think about. It is normal for a healthy young man to have sexual desires and needs, and if he is not able to have sex then it can be challenging.

No matter what your age or situation, a good way to control your sexual energy is by doing a lot of physical exercise. You need to sweat, sweat, sweat. Run, play soccer, basketball, cricket - what ever sport you like. If you have yoga available to you, that is an excellent way to control your sexual energy by raising it from the lower chakras to the higher ones. Long cold showers are also good for transmitting sexual energy...and they are great for the nervous system. Do something creative, like painting, writing, or dancing...what ever you like. The important thing is to use some discipline. Do the above things on a regular basis and if you are spontaneously hit with sexual desires, instead of reaching for the computer, go do something I mentioned above. If you are serious about wanting to control this energy, then you will have to discipline yourself into helping yourself.

Now, if you are very obcessed with sex then you may have a sexual disorder, in which case you would need to seek out professional help. Just as there is addiction to gambing, drugs and alcohol, there is also sexual addiction. That is probably not your challenge, but I mention it for you to think about.

My prayer for you is that you will find balance and fulfillment in your life. GTKK