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Summary of Question:	Im Lost
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 5/09/2002 10:32 PM MDT

please take me seriously as i am not making this up, i really don't no where to turn with this problem I NEED HELP PLEASE. My family does not understand me they think i am lying and i can't bring my self to tell my friends or teachers and they would think im mad, i would be so thank full if you could help me with this please.

For the past 3 years this has been happening and i can't take no more i feel as if i am going mad, when i sleep at nights more often then not i am visited by something evil, a devil, spirit i don't no but i do no it is eveil and bad. I will do my best to describe to you what happens to me, it feels as if it enters into my brain, it paralyses my body so i can't move or speak or shout, then it does its best to pull my soul out my body, i can hear it roar in my mind, all i can do is ask it what it want from me and to leave me alone which doesn't help. Now when it comes for me as i say waigure repeatedly in my head, it tells me to 'stop it' when it can't take it any more it leaves. I cannot sleep on my back towards the bed if i do it will try and pull my soul out from the front of my body, and if i sleep with my front facing the bed it comes and sits on my back i can feel the pressure.
I was visited by a gane he old me to put a babajes tape on in my room, and i did and it didn't come 4 a long time, then it began to come for me again like it got immune to the tape.
Before this happened to me i never believed in god or my religion but due to this i grow so close to god, i felt like i had a special connect with him and was beginning to look into my religion and becoming a strong person, i prayed every night, but some nights when i was tired i didn't pray, then it would come, even if i sleep in different rooms or at my sisters house it finds me EVERY WHERE, why? how can it do this? Will this ever leave me alone??, is it with me all the time even now, how does it no where i am all the time? WHAT IS IT?, who send it? thats what i think all the time.
Recently iv stopped praying i no this sounds bad but iv lost faith in my god who i used to love and trust, as i began to think to myself, god i believe in u so much with my heart soul mind everything, and u still let this 'thing' harm me, why? i feel as if i had so much love trust and belief in god, but he lets this thing attack me, iv seemed to have lost faith and i feel so alone now like im lost, but i still believe in god and love him, i still do, but i feel anger and hate towards him for allowing this 'thing' to come and get me.
i can't carry on like this im scared to sleep, i cry when i think about it like i am now, i sleep at 8 am when it is light out side so i feel safe, i can't get up for college and i have exams coming up.
i don't understand why ME im a simple girl with a simple life style, has someone done black magic on me? what does it want with my soul? WHY ME? help me where do i go, no one helps me i feel on my own, my parents don't care they say i must have done some something bad for this to happen to me, and i have began to hate them for saying that and not helping me what kind of parents are they watching me suffer and saying i deserve it, my own parents my flesh and blood don't help me and i have so much hate for them now. I don't understand what iv done that is so terrible for me to deserve this, why me??? what is it???? i can't talk to no one about this, what do i say to my teacher at college i can't come in to your lesson as i can't sleep as a devils is trying to take my soul??
I no u have many problems to look at, and i thank you for reading mien, im sorry it was long but i feel better now that i am able to get it out from my system, i feel so lost and i feel lost from god and on my own, i feel as if i am going mad, any way again i thank you 4 reading this and if u can help me i will be so very very greatful, if not then its ok. Thank you

(REPLY)

Sat Nam. If what you are describing is true, you need to see a qualified professional counselor. I'm sure there is one at your college. Tell him or her you are having mental problems. Do not be afraid she will think you are mad! This could be something easily solved medically, and I cannot give you that kind of advice. In the meantime, call on Guru Ram Das for protection, and there is another mantra that you might like to try, in which we ask Baba Siri Chand (Guru Nanak's son) for protection. It is 'BABA SIRI CHAND DE RAK" Just say it once when you feel threatened by anything. It is still a good idea to play shabds during your sleep time.

May God and Guru bless you and protect you. SP