|Summary of Question:
|Lost And Confused Young Soul
|Monday, 8/11/2008 4:16 AM MDT
Some of the questions i want to ask, others might have asked already but the reason for me to ask these questions and to recieve an answer is for me to find peace within myslef, so I will really apprciate an answer ASAP an i also very much apprciate that you would take the time to read this because my letter is very long I am a spirtual person but i am not a full gursikh, through out life my focus has always been to be a person with an honest and pure soul. God is a very important part of my life...God is my everything...i have so much love for God and the Gurujis that sometimes just thinking of the love i feel brings tears to my eyes...i do paath...and my faith in gurbani and Waheguru has guided me through some pretty tough timesFor the past 20yrs i have done my best to be honest, to always do the right thing, to be a good person, to see everyone equally, there have been friends who have hurt me deeply in the past yet i have not said one bad word against, and i've done my best not to say anything bad about anyone i have never gone near or tasted alcohol or any drugs. I'm not saying that I have not made mistakes i probably have, after all i am human. But i have based my living on Gods love and to be simply a good personThere have been times where i have been confused with how my life has turned our or why people that i've cared about have treated me the way they have. But then i come to the conclusion that whatever happens, happens for a reason and that i should just keep my faith in my WahegurujiWhat i want to talk about i am scared and embarassed to talk about it because i am afraid of the judgment. I have thought about talking to my mom about, i am used to talking to her about all my problems, but this is a really personal matter that i can not even bring myself to talk about with my mom...the problem is that i am a female who has recently turned 20 and i have started to have sexual feelings that i have not really felt before and i have heard about guys going though puberty and stuff and going through theses feelings but don't know much about girls. I have had these feelings just recently for a few days. First time i felt very uncomfortable with myself because i have a very strong belief about sex and that it is only okay after marriage and expected for myself to only have these feelings after marriage. Following days this feeling has been starting to build up and last night i ended up looking on the interenet at inappropriate stuff and then i stopped and was absolutely disguested with myself...i started to cry hysterically calling for God to help me to guide me...i was so upset with myself i wanted to end my life and then knew i couldn't because that would be wrong and i could not hurt my family like that they love me so much....then i didn't know what to do i just laid on the floor crying (and even now i feel like crying)...asking for guidence, for help. I was upset with myself that as a child of God how could i do something like that...then i got up and did paath till the sun came out i did Sukhmani Sahib, and Chaupi Sahib 5 times, and simran, then i put on a gurbani Cd and fell asleep as reciting the words to the cd.Today i woke up and started to have the same feelings and it was hard for me to concentrate with everything going through my mind and its been hard for me to study for my two tests i have today. I almost started to go do the same thing as last night then i realized what i need is answers so i came in the search for answers...I feel so confused and so lost, why am i having these feeling does have something to do with my hormones changing? Does it have something to do with me transitiong from a teen to an adult? and how do i deal with this, how do i deal with myself, i don't know if i should talk to my mom about this, i want to she is very understanding and openminded i mostly go to her with all my questions i trust her the most, but this is a first time i have to deal with something like this and I just don't want to feel this way or think of bad things, i feel like due to my actions i have hu
rt my karma...please help me i just need guidence....thank you
Dear one, Youth today is exposed to excessive sensuality and stimulation.
Let it all go. Getting excessively emotional is not a solution. You have a solution.
Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. You made a mistake or two. But understand the sequence that took you down this road and avoid it in the future.
You are a great lover of Gurbani. Try taking up a sport like: jogging or 62 minutes of brisk walking while reciting Mool Mantra or walking with a friend.
I highly reccommend that you take up Kundalini Yoga. You need to sweat daily and put your physical focus on improving your sensory awareness and your intuitive ability to change the course of a behavior. You can do all this. You are a good person and a very powerful woman, no doubt. Learn from your mistake and correct yourself now. No harm has been done.
God bless you,
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