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Summary of Question:	Please Help Family Of A Drifted Sikh Youth
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 12/30/2002 4:47 PM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!!

I am proud sister of a Amritdhari brother and bhua of four nephews. My brother came to US when he was in his early twenties; he lived Sikh way of life in spite of all the obstacles he might have faced in the beginning of his life here. He married a wonderful Sikh women from a renowned GurSikh family of Punjab. Both of them together did and still doing all the right things (teaching/speaking Gurmukhi to children, reading to/with children about Sikhi, teaching Kirtan/Tabla, choosing sports over parties, minimizing acquaintances with mona Sikhs; being involved parents, providing the best education in best schools/universities etc. etc) to raise their sons as Gursikhs. Three younger ones are Amritdhari Singhs by Guru’s grace, but the oldest one has drifted away not long after he stepped out of home to go to university. He cut his hair. At that time, he seemed remorseful of what he did; he could not tell why he did so. His responses were not like a rebellious teenager but of someone who is helpless. Anyway that was three years ago and I lost touch with him because of his being away at University & not responding to my e-mails. In my heart I always prayed for him & knew that he will come back. Last year I saw him in ‘Patka’ and said ‘Shukrane di Ardaas’. Unfortunately it did not last too long, he has cut his hair again. My brother and his wife are heart-broken, so I do not feel like talking about him with them. I am not in touch with my nephew either. This communication gap is killing me, wish I could ask him – why again? Wish I could have him think about ‘Sahibjadas’and all the sacrifices that his parents made to keep him on the ‘Sikhi’ path. But I can’t.

Please help and tell me what I can do ? Is there any special paath that can bring ‘Guru’s Kirpa’ to him? What can I do to ease the pain that my brother and Bhabi must be feeling every time they see his face? What can we do to assure that all this won’t make his younger brothers to follow his footsteps too? What do I tell my son/daughter if s/he asks me questions about him?

Please say ‘Ardaas’ for him & for us to bear our loss.

Humbly,
Harsimrat

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Faith moves mountains, otherwise, even stones are heavy! Keep doing your prayers, and leave the rest to God and Guru. We cannot control the destiny or fate of even our nearest and dearest ones, and of course it is heartbreaking for parents when a child turns his back on all they have tried to teach him. Each soul must make its own choices, and pay its own karma, and apparently this nephew has chosen a hard path to follow. the only thing I can suggest is that you continue to pray for him, and for his parents, and in your prayers bless them all to experience God's light and love. Remember, everything that happens is God's will. Yes, everything. In Japji Sahib, Guru Nanak tells us that God makes some stray from the path, and others He keeps near. It certainly wouldn't hurt to add to your daily prayers the "mantra for a miracle": DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GUR, etc. May God and Guru bless you and your family. SP