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Summary of Question:	Is It Right To Have A Boyfriend In The Sikh Community?
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 1/29/2004 5:19 AM MST

I know its silly to ask someone about my problem when I can clearly do path and find answers there. So far I know what God would want me to do but I am still confused. I am a Sikh girl who has respected my family right from the beginning. I have never disrespected them in a any way. They say that their reputation is high in the Sikh Community because of their children and to hear that really gives me value. However, I am 20 and have have met someone who is amazing. He understands everything from Sikh culture to family traditions.i have been seeing him for almost 2 years now. He would fit greatly into my life if I married him. However being with him makes me feel guilty because i know my parents wouldn't like to see me waltzing around with a guy. Im still at uni and hopefully would like to marry him. I'm scared that my parents will say no because I am more educated than him. They love me very much but they are overprotective too. I can't blame them. I'm their only daughter. What I'm trying to ask you is, is it right to do what I'm doing when i know its wrong deep down? Will I be putting my parents reputation down? Will I have to let go of someone that I love so much?

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Yes, it is important to respect your parents...it is also important to look at your self and your life. You say that you know it is wrong deep down. Is that because you feel it is wrong from your parent's point of view and how it makes them look...or because you feel it is wrong for yourself? Really deeply contemplate your situation. Is this relationship superficial and temporary? Or, does this person have the qualities you admire for a life long partner? If you really feel this is wrong, then end it before you create more destructive karma for yourself. If, though, you feel that this person is "right" for you, then discuss it with him and consider approaching both your parents about getting engaged. If you want more information about how to evaluate if he's the "one" for you, look at the Matrimonial section of this web page. GTKK