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Summary of Question:	Loving A Lower Cast In India ?
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 5/16/2003 11:06 PM MDT

hello to all involved

i was just going in the internet when i came across your net
WOW its great some of the quetions are really great they made me cry
quetions that one would ask as a sikh at some time of there life
its great to hear that youngester have so much interest in our culture
i am married mother of two i lived my single life in england got married to a student in germany a indian we are so happy we live on the outskirts of berlin a beautfil city, i would like to ask in our family in india a girl has been going out with a lower cast for 4-5 years we found out about 3 weeks ago i was arranging her marrage to a sikh in germany i am know stuck she told me how much they love each other how do i get out of this one please help how would you go about sorting this out??????? i would be greatful for the advice and thank you in advance for you time
love to all
(REPLY) Sat Nam. Our Gurus tried to teach us to abandon the caste system! Sikhs are Sikhs! Guru Nanak preached the equality of women and the importance of respecting every human being equally. I would think that if the girl wants to marry the boy, that is what should happen, since she has already been having a relationship with him. This cultural snobbery has got to stop! If there is something wrong with him as far as character is concerned, that is a different matter. Meanwhile, the man and the family of the match you are trying to make would feel betrayed if you don't reveal that she already has been going out with someone in India for over 4 years, so it sounds like they are determined to be together. Where are her parents? What is their attitude? It is so sad that our Sikh girls have not been taught and inspired to avoid dating -- because that is where the trouble begins! Not every arranged marriage is perfect, but the odds are so heavy against these affairs working out, because without commitment, there is usually exploitation and hearbreak down the line. It is wonderful that you have a happy marriage, and so I know you understand that it takes more to make a marriage than just attraction. So, the question is, what is going to be best for all concerned? What is the honorable thing to do? Pray for guidance, and then you'll know. Blessings, SP