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Summary of Question:	Love
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 12/17/2003 3:10 PM MST

WJKK WJKF

I have this major problem, and its very big. How can i stop thinking about this guy that i love so much ? this distracts my everyday life even though i see him once evey few months (like if we happen to be passing by). this sounds crazy, but i will actually make an effort of taking a different journey to get somewhere in the hope of seeing him or bumping into him. ive been like this for a few years now, and everyday i prayed that i hope this will go away, that one day i will wake up and he will not be in my mind, that one day perhaps, the love and attachment i feel for him will be gone and in its place love and attachment for my Guru. But it has been ages, everyday for last few years i think of him, it makes my day when he calls me or i bump into him. i feel i am going crazy, ni cant take it much longer, i pray for help, i pray for the best outcome, am i doing something wrong? cos i really cant take this anymore. what can i do to get this thing out of me ?

any help would be greatly appreciated
thanks

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You're suffering from a prolonged case of "puppy-love" the kind of infatuation that adolescent girls experience. I't very "romantic" - this pain. However, it's time for you to get over it and get on with your life. However, you have to WANT to get over it! If you sincerely want to be free of this obsession, you have to do more than pray. You need to stop living in your emotions. This emotionalism is not love, it's desire, need, attachment, fantasy. So, prayer is good, but in addition to prayer you need to include in your daily routine (yes, consistently every day for at least 40 days!) at least one hour, of chanting. One of the best mantras might be the Mul Mantra, and/or I might suggest DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GUR Shabd, for Guru Ram Das is the Lord of Miracles. You need to clear out your subconscious mind and you can only do this by replacing the thoughts (and feelings, and yearnings) for this person, with praises of God and Guru. But again, do you sincerely want to get rid of this obsession? Or do you secretly hope that some relationship can come out of it? Be honest with yourself, and can use your will to control your feelings. The will is the instrument of the soul. Like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. An even simpler meditation that can help you elevate your consciousness is to sit quietly with eyes closed, spine straight, and breathe long and deep through your nose, thinking SAT as you inhale, and NAM as you exhale. Truth IS your Identity, and you need to get some perspective on why your soul came to this planet. If possible, read from Siri Guru Granth Sahib on a regular basis. Guru's grace can help you. Blessings, SP