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Summary of Question:Fiancee's Past
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Wednesday, 9/01/2010 8:23 AM MDT

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Wahegur ji ki Fathe,


I am currently in a relationship with someone who was previosuly married and had a son, they then divorced as his wife was unfaithful to him. We met and fell in love he is a sikh guy and very honest and respectful. Our relationship is very pure, his family knows about me and mine know about him. The only thing that causes alot of arguements between us is sometimes i cannot let go of his past, i constantly compare myself to his previous wife but he tells me he loves me so much and feels complete with me and doesnt think of anyone else. Please help me is there something that i can do to let go of his past and think of our future?

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REPLY
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Sat Nam,

It is always wise to let go of the past but in your situation the presence of your fiance's first wife is going to be always at present. The fact that they had a child together will keep the connection alive. What you have to concentrate is not so much on letting it go but becoming comfortable with the fact that both the ex wife and the son are going to be a part of your life. It is not necessarily a bad thing. Knowing the ex wife will give you a good idea of what kind of relationship your fiance actually has with her. If indeed there is nothing to worry about then you will see it fairly quickly and your worries should be dispelled. However, it will be an ongoing process.

There are no two women who are alike. You don't have to worry so much comparing yourself to someone else. The important thing is to just keep working at your relationship and to be graceful around the ex wife. It is never a good idea to start showing your insecurities to anyone and especially your husband around this issue. You will be the queen of your own house and she will be the queen of hers. Wish her well and hold your own throne.

DWK



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