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Summary of Question:Turban
Date Posted:Monday, 12/16/2002 3:04 AM MST

hi, i hope u can help me. My problem is that my sister took amrit about 6/7 years ago, and although she doesn't regret taking, she does regret wearing a turban. Over the past one and a half years she has been talking about this a lot with my mum. My parents were not happy in the first place that she wore a turban, and so they support her fully in not wanting to wear it. The thing is her husband is really against her taking it off, as they had amrit together, he feels his amrit would be broken if she takes it off. also, they still live with his parents, who also both wear turbans. She knows that if she took it off, they will make a big fuss about it all. When she suggested it last year, they started talking about divorcing her if she did it, and they were serious. Its no point in appealing to my brother in law, because he is dead against it anyway. i was wondering if you can give her any advice about what she can do about taking it , if she is really serious about it. is there any special ardas, we should do??? Plz reply bk!

Dear one,
I think there is some deeper issue here that the turban represents. Is this a very repressive environment for her? The importance of the Sikh identity and your observence is, that it is an expression of love and devotion to God, Guru and your own inspiration.

Each person must do their practice from this perspective. She does not sound inspired. No one should force or coerce anybody to be a SIkh of the Guru. For her to take off her turban does not mean that she is breaking her Amrit vows. Especially in Indian society, where women rarely even wear turbans. To break Amrit would be to commit a kurehit which is: cutting hair, having sex outside of marriage, smoking drinking taking dug intoxicants/eating animals.

Your sister sounds unhappy. Perhaps the turban is a level of observence that she did not feel ready for in the first place. She may need to discover her elevation and devotion on her own without other's pressure.

Encourage her to start a daily deep meditation, for herself, of her own choosing. She needs the time and space to develop her own personal experience of God within herself through the Guru.

Happiness, kindness and forgiveness, devotion, hospitality and victory are the Guru and the Gursikh.
God bless you for caring and God bless your sister in her search for her identity.

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