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Summary of Question:	Boore Karam ?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 10/10/2000 8:32 PM MDT

Sat Shri Akaal

I want to state that this web site is very helpful to many of us fellow sikhs. We usually discuss a question and solve it inbetween our group. my concern or question is very personal, i didnt know who to ask, without having her/him judge me. I beg of somebody to answer my question(s) for me. PlEASE!!!!!!
W/O n e further delays...I am 20 years old, i am in love with a fellow sikh.WE have had a long-distance relationship for over 1 year after we fell in love. Very recently i have cheated on him, i have been physically involved with another guy who is a hindu. I didnt know i was capable of cheating on hiM. As i understand Sikhism preaches for man to live a clean, honest and moral life, I dont know wat to do about this. I am very confused. Please Help Me!!! We (me & my bf) have discussed marriage as an option for the future. BUt i dont want to go into marriage with this guilt. Yet i am afraid i will loose him if i tell him, But according to sikhism i should continue with honesty. Please HELP me! I hope you dont take this as a joke, i am very confused and depressed, sometimes i cant concentrate on my studies. I normally would do Path 2 times a day, now i dont. I cant explain Nor comprehend wat has happened to me! If someone can Help me., Please!!!
ThankS
Rupi

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Reply
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Dear One. Please stop and breathe a very deep and long breath. We have many opportunities to learn through our experiences. Sometimes we learn through experiences we would rather not have, sometimes we understand without having the experience.

There are so many negative directors in our environment that guide us wrongly. This is a very clear example of how you in a moment of unconsciousness allowed your pure intentions to be bypassed. Curiosity, passion, fear of saying no to a man, self hatred....whatever it was. There are not many reminders that tell the woman about the grace and beauty and power of her virtue.

Take some time to recconnect with the very beautiful you. You are a "woman" You are a"Grace of God". Live in your grace and your internal beauty and your love for yourself. You do not need the love of a man to make you feel good. The love of yourself is what will nurture you through all. Let your internal prayer be for the love and beauty of you.

So, let go of the guilt. You made a mistake. First thing you must do is to forgive yourself. Pray to Mata Sahib Kaur to guide you. Read the shabd "Bhand Janee-ai, Bhand nimi-ai bhand maganaa vi-aaho...." Guru Nanak, from Asa Divar. Recite the shabd 11 x each day for the next 40 days. Understand what it means. The shabd talks about the value and importance of the woman. Also,do this meditation for the next 40 days.

Morning and evening (2x day)
1.Lie on your back...relax with your arms down by your side.
Inhale, hold your breath in and 5 x say mentally "I am grace of God"
Exhale, hold the breath out and mentally say "I am grace of God" 5x
Do this for 10 breaths

2.Sit up- hold your left arm at right angles to your body like you are taking an oath. Tense your pinkie finger and say, OUTLOUD 5x: "I am grace of God". Tense your ring finger and repeat outloud: 5x "I am grace of God"...then tense your middle finger and repeat 5x "I am grace of God. Then tense pointer finger and then tense thumb doing the same for each of the last fingers.

Pinkie is: wisdom & grace, ring finger is sun: health and vitality
middle finger is Saturn: emotionality
pointer finger: intelligence
thumb is: ego or devotion

By doing this your will bring grace into your aura and into your life and empower you to live in your grace.

As far as confessing to your boyfriend. Give yourself 40 day space to get back to yourself and your center. Recover your balance and then you will know how to handle this situation. Surrender your worry and let God and Guru take care of this. Remember, the perfect Creator made His creation perfect...even your corruptions.