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Summary of Question:What Is Wrong With A Sikh Person Going On A "Date" With A Girl/Boy?
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Friday, 3/12/1999 4:26 PM MST

There is sexual intercourse, and there is emotional intercourse. You can take a girl out to dinner. At all times and under all circumstances you not only should, but you must, respect her. As humans we seek our polarity and balance in life. We are social creatures so the tendency is to seek that balance in another person. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist there. You must first find it in yourself. The problem with dating is the emotional expectations and confusion that comes with it. It is good to have girls who are friends, but having girlfriends leads to problems. Go out with your friends, boys and girls, in a group. That way you avoid misunderstanding. When you have a physical or emotional relationship with a girl you enter into the psyche of each other. This becomes imprinted there and doesn't go away, throughout your life. For girls it is magnified because they are more sensitive and receptive in general. That is why we have to be protective of girls. You don't have to have physical sex with

a girl to penetrate her psyche and her yours. When that happens, your energies become entangled and it is very difficult to unravel, and it always leaves an imprint. In a group situation, however, the intensity of that energy is deflected and you are safe.


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Second Reply
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I would like to add a different perspective to the answer already submitted above, because I don't think it addressed the question in terms of what is wrong with a Sikh dating. In my humble opinion, I do not think that there is anything wrong with dating, no matter what religion you are. I do not think there is any specific teachings in Sikhism that condones or condemns dating. The taboo against dating I believe comes from Indian cultural traditions and tenents, and is not religious in origin. The same taboo applies to Hindus, Muslims and Christians in India as well.

On a secular note, while I agree that dating should not be taken lightly and should be conducted with utmost respect and good intentions of both parties, I think it is ultimately up to the individuals involved to decide what works for them in terms of relationships. Each person will have a different level of comfort in social situations. Overall, it is imperative to act in a way that does not undermine your beliefs and which upholds your dignity and self-respect. It is up to you to decide how to do this.



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