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Summary of Question:Spiritual Guidance For Infidelity
Category:General Q's from Non-Sikhs
Date Posted:Friday, 11/15/2002 6:27 PM MST

I am a non-sikh woman who has been living with a sihk man for a few years. he does not believe in marriage and his parents will be utmost disappointed if he marries to me. After a year of dating I was introduced to his parents and I have been communicating with them on regular basis. so I should think we are accepted as a couple. Recently my partner went on a long holiday and had a passionate fling with another lady who seems to be quite keen on keeping in touch with him. A couple of months after his return, I started to receive obscene video clips to my email address. it was my partner and this lady is having a sex. The sex was taken place in this lady's work so it might have been caught on the office security camera, however It is obvious that the sender is blackmailing me. I do not understand the purpose of hurting me however the problem is getting bigger and now it is reaching the point of involving his parents: The sender is threatning me that the video tapes will be sent to his parents, his relatives, work , and my friends basically. Now I would like to know how the Sikh community and the religion would perceive this problem as, as his parents are on a highly respected postion in the community. And I also would like to suggest my parter who wears Kara and attend temples to seek a spititual assitance to overcome this immorality he has commited. Is there a Mentor whom he can speak to in the sikh communities normally?


Sat Siri Akal.

Darling, your partner is not a Sikh. He doesn't have a Sikh bone in his body. He may be Punjabi and he may have been born to parents who are Sikh, but wearing a Kara and bowing in Gurdwara does not make him a Sikh.

True Sikhs understand the value and importance of marriage. And in that, they would not be unfaithful in the way this man has been unfaithful.

That said - why are you in this relationship to begin with? Is it graceful for you? Does it serve your highest consciousness and the destiny of your Spirit? The decision that you make in regards to the video clip has to be based on what is right for you - what is best for you - not what is right or best for him. The video clip is not your problem. It's his problem. Let him deal with it and deal with the consequences of his actions. If he wanted spiritual guidance and a mentor, he would have reached out for one already. For goodness's sake, don't try to save this man. Either he can save himself or let him drown in the mess that he's created.

What's most important is YOU. Do what you need to take care of yourself and maintain your own grace.

I wish you the best of luck with the situation.

All love,


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