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Summary of Question:Marrying a black man...
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Thursday, 3/23/2000 6:41 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal,

I am a 19 year old jatt sikh girl in first year of university. I have recently (4 months ago) started dating a black Carribbean male. He is 33 years old. He is very disturbed by the fact that i am not telling my parents about him as yet.
The problem is that I do not specifically know whether or not Sikhism allows to marry outside of Sikhism.
This man himself is religious (he follows his own path to find God) and has also taken a great interest in learning more about Sikhism.
If Sikhism does allow one to marry a non-sikh, how can I tell my parents about him? My mother and father are both very religious and my mother claims that a Sikh should not marry anyone else. I do not intend to get married for some years now, but it is not fair to him nor myself if i am not allowed to do this without disrespecting my own religion.

A response would be greatly appreciated.
thank you.

Waheguruji Ka Khalsa, Waheguruji Ki Fateh.
years yet.


You are in love now, and you don't want to face the reality of the future. Are your children going to be raised as Khalsa. Will your husband be willing to support that and pass it to your future generations.
With a dharmic path like Sikh, it is very difficult to have interfaith marriage, but it can be done. YOu have to decide what you want out of life, and there is a simple exercise for that.
Imagine you are lying on your deathbed many years from now. You are looking back over your life. All the feelings of being in love and the other emotions of your life are forgotten. All that's left is what you have accomplished, what you have represented, and what legacy you have left behind as a parent. If you are looking back at life from this perspective, what do you want to see. What do you want to tell Guru Gobind Singh and Akal Purkh when you meet them as your soul leaves the body.
It's not whether our religion allows it, it's what path you are setting for yourself through the many years ahead of you. Be very careful, prayerful and thoughtful, not emotional.

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Marrying a black man... (03/23/2000)
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