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| Summary of Question: | Did I Do Correct ? |
| Category: | Love & Marriage |
| Date Posted: | Saturday, 9/30/2000 9:45 AM MDT |
Waheguru ji ki Fateh !
I am deeply involved with a non-Sikh girl ....so much in love that at one time i prayed truly for her ..but when i proposed her ..she dint say yes to me ...i dint knew the reason as to why was she saying no to my proposal ...but then still we continued being good friends ...
What next happened was I met a sikh girl(not in reality but at chat) and i got attracted towards her nature and thought i should go ahead and pursue relationship with her (thought i never met her )
Now after quite a good number of months the non sikh girl confessed that she has a deep attraction too for me ..and when i asked that why she said "No" to my proposal which i had made around 11 months ago....she replied that she had asked her parents twice but they dint agree and that was the reason she dint tell me about her feelings ...she thought that it was of no use telling me about her feelings since her parents arent agreeing to it ...but then it was becoming impossible for her to stay with those feelings buried in her heart so she finally told me about them..
..Now I had to make a choice as to what should i do ? whether to go for the sikh girl or the non sikh girl (my first true & innocent love)...I was helpless and had to make a decision ..but couldnt make the decision as to what to do ..these thoughts starting coming to my mind like
1>should i go for the sikh girl whom i have never met personally ? Am i not making a wrong assumption about her nature though i have never met her personally ?
2>shouldnt i go for this non sikh girl who is my first love and i know her very well and she understand me very well too ?..of course after marriage she will follow sikhism..learn punjabi and follow the sikh culture whole heartedly
3> When i asked myself whom do u love more ? the sikh girl whom u met on chat and talked with her on phone or the non sikh girl for whom i use to pray day and night ?...I couldn't find any answer within myself because i dint want to break anyone's heart ..
I was stuck...and finally things took such a turn that i went ahead with the non sikh girl and had to cut off relationship with the sikh girl ...
So what do u think did i do correct thing ..was it right on my part to do that ...break of someone's heart (though we met just on chat..but still she loved me too very badly and innocently) ......or should i have said no to my first love - the non sikh girl ... ???
Second question of mine that she is ready to accept sikhi whole heartedly and is also learning punjabi now and trying to follow sikhi rules...so isn't it okay if i marry her ..i mean ..will i be going against the sikhi rules and regulations ?...because i dont think that gurbani says no for a inter-religion marraige ..provided the spouse is ready to following sikhism, its culture and its values ?
Kindly reply ?
Thanks & Regards
A Sikh
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Reply
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My dear, You are just so full of feelings and emotions and a bit of confusion. But, I do have a very special gift for you from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib that will solve your problem.
Since you are so unclear as to what to do. I suggest that you not do anything with these two girls or any girls for a little while. Back off....take some time off from your relationships. Get clear within yourself and do the following.....
For the next 40 days do this prayer for internal clarity. " Magala Saaj Bhai-aa prabh apanaa gaa-e-aa Raam". The shabd can be found in the Amrit Kirtan on Page# 598 and in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib on Pg. 845. It ends with the line "Binvant Nanak karo kirpaa, leho mohe larr laa-e-aa".
Recite it 11x in Gurmukhi each day with a total concentration and understanding.
The shabd is for overcoming lonliness and finding your soul mate. Do it, experience it and see what it can do for you.
It is short and here is the English translation. Be sure you recite it in Gurmukhi to get the proper pronunciation and to get the full power of the Naad of the Gurmukhi. If you miss a day, then you must start over again at day #1 umtil you finish all 40 days consecutively.
Bilawal Mahelaa 5 Chant:
"The time of rejoicing has come.
I sing of my Lord God.
I have heard of my Imperishable husband God, and happiness fills my mind.
My mind is in love with him. When shall I realize my
great good fortune, and meet with my perfect Husband?
If only I could meet the Lord of the Universe, and
be intuitively absorbed into Him!
Tell me how, O my companion!
Day and night, I stand and serve my God.
How can I attain Him?
Prays Nanak, have mercy on me,
and attach me to the hem of your Robe, Lord." (1)
God bless you and let me know how you do.
Did I Do Correct ? (09/30/2000)