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Summary of Question:	Should i tell him im in love?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 4/05/2000 4:19 AM MDT

I dont know if this will help me at all. i just needed somebody's advise. and since im a quite religious girl (im 19 by the way) i though that maybe someone who have the same faith and religion and all may be able to help me out.

My problem is, a quite stupid one im sure, that i think im in love with a guy. but since im indian, im a sikh and i do not wish to do anything to hurt my parents i want to end it, i dont even see him that much, but i think of him so much and i feel bad about it.
I dont want to keep seeing him, as i know it will just make things harder for me later. and also i dont want other indians to see him and me together.So i though that i should tell him that im very attracted to him, and then also tell him that i cant see him anymore. I really feel like telling him how much i care, but i dont know the consequences of it. he is very understanding, but still, is that the right thing to do?
i hope that by telling him, ill be able to let go and get on with my life. besides doesnt he deserve to know.
I know the person reading is thinking what a ploker this indian girl is, but when it comes to feeling i guess i have to be very carefull, because im indian.
so will you please tell me the right thing. i need to know very soon. i want to be able to move on very soon.


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REPLY
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The first thing I want to let you know is that you are NOT stupid, or ridiculous in asking this question. You show a high level of sensitivity, both to yourself, the young man, your family, and your community. You show that you have given this situation deep thought and consideration from many points of view.

The nature of your dilemma is an age old one. There is no right answer. Sometimes choices must be made that are painful for those involved. The decision rests on what are the consequences of prolonging the relationship? Is there enough of a deep and lasting value to continue to nurture the relationship in spite of the cultural and family differences? Do you feel mature enough to handle the challenges faced with your family and community? Can you give it time to see if it is a relationship that will last?

Even if you have no answers to the questions posed you still may have to just go with what your intuition is telling you to do. Life is long and there are always places to look back on and say, "I wish I had done that differently." Or, "That choice changed my life." When you trust that you are guided by the Guru and the wisdom within your own being you know that the decisions you make will only make you stronger and wiser in your life.

Thank you for having the courage to ask the question. Never doubt that you are a beautiful and blessed child of God. Trust yourself. Grow yourself. Every relationship, every experience is there for us to explore who we are and where we stand in our commitment to our highest values. Blessings always.

HBK