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Summary of Question:Can you keep a turban WITHOUT FULL KESH?
Category:Turban
Date Posted:Tuesday, 10/24/2000 9:00 PM MDT

To the great servants of the Guru who answer our youths questions with modesty, honesty and objectivity,


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Thank you for doing an excellent job.

I would like to ask two questions and get your opinions on them. If possible, I request that you get different opinions on my questions.

I am a Sikh male aged 18. I have, since the summer of 2000, started to try to walk towards the Guru. I'm working on my soul, on my mind and on my heart. I am planning on how I will later have to work on my physical appearance, i.e. kesh. I stopped getting my hair cut in August, and I have thick curly hair, somewhat like an "afro" now. (I don't know the techical term for this style of hair!)

When I decide to take Amrit, and keep a Dastaar, will it be okay for me to wear a dastaar with short hair? I obviously wouldn't cut it from that point on - but is it more proper to grow my hair first? I know that a Sikh is supposed to keep his hair clean but does it have to be in a "joora" or bun?

My second question has to do with change. For 18 years I've been pretty much non religious. I've always thought of myself as Sikh, however more PUNJABI than Sikh. These are two different things and as I go from one into the next, I'm having problems with my family. My dad is starting to become agitated with my sudden focus on religion. He thinks religion is interfering with my school, my future and much more. I tell him religion helps me in school, is my future and much more. He doesn't listen. Other people in my family are treating me differently - better or worse - only because I am starting to walk towards the Guru.

My grandfather took Amrit earlier this year and he has turned into a preacher. He tells everyone what's right and wrong, regardless of their relationship to him. He refuses attending parties and staying up later than 10pm. Whenever my family goes to a party or a non-Sikh function, he looks down upon them. My family is afraid that I will start acting like him.

How do you suggest I deal with this change in my life, my actions and behaviour? How should I deal with my family and their attitude to my vegetarianism, my growing faith in the Guru and my opinion of things that they do which are contradictory to the Guru's message?

Thank you very very much for your work and eventually for your reply to my questions. Wishing you Chardi Kalaa and an Open Mind, your brother and son, Kulpreet Singh.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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Reply
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Greetings in the Name of God and Guru.
Wearing a turban is fine, whether your hair is short or long, whether you have taken Amrit or not... does not matter. Just go ahead and start wearing the pugri.

Normally, the hair is tied up into a rishi knot and the turban is put on top of it. The length of one's hair is very individual. Some people have no hair under their turban. The turban keeps the 26 bones of the brain together. It will keep you together.

You are learning how to present yourself. Your presentation to the world is as a man of grace and caliber. Congratulations!

In regard to your grandfather... he is being very fanatical. He may be wishing that all the family was doing spiritual practices. It is fine to be different if it helps support your spiritual practice. Judging and laying numbers on others will definitely chase them away. Loving inspiration from your grandfather would be much more welcome by the family.

Being kind and gracious is what increased spiritual awareness should bring. Being supportive and inspiring will shares the grace of your experience.

The bottom line is "if you cannot see God in all, you cannot see God at all". God is there in everyone, pulling their nose strings, and taking them to parties, and also getting them to bed at 10pm.

God bless you. Keep up the good work!



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