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Summary of Question:Re: Marriage
Date Posted:Tuesday, 6/01/1999 8:56 AM MDT
Question : Love & Marriage

I would also like to respond to this question. As Shakti Parwha Kaur Khalsa said "Is it dharmically correct, this you must find through meditation and prayer".

I too was in your situation, but I was the Amritdhari one and he wasn't. He drank alcohol, ate meat and also trimmed his beard. This was going to be a real obstacle for me as there were no members in my family or cousins who did any of these things.

When we told our parents, his parents agreed and my parents said no way will we ever agree. Over time he stopped drinking alcohol, eating meat and trimming his beard, but my parents still wouldn't agree. It was a real emotional struggle for me, my loved one and our families. Eventually I was given the ultimum of either breaking my relationship off or pack my bags and leave the family. Leaving the family is something I do not agree with as no one is worth leaving their family for. This went on for two years, however during this time I never left my God and never asked anything of him e.g. please make my parents accept our marriage. Towards the end of this two year period I was physically and mentally drained, no energy left and I was starting to doubt we were ever going to get married. My family and I were always arguing.

The Sukhmani Sahib is a very powerful Bani. During this period I was doing the Sukhmani Sabib everyday after work along with the rest of my daily Banis. The more I read these over time the more relaxed I became and after the Ardaas I would always say "God you know how I feel, however, your wish is my command and I will accept your decision with an open heart".

One day I felt something internally as I was reading the Sukhmani Sahib. Suddenly it seemed as though the sun was shining and everything looked so bright (It was 8.30pm). After the Ardaas I said to God I am going to ask my parents one more time as it has gone on long enough and if they agree I will be happy and if they do not agree I will still be happy. When I finished I went to my parents and asked them for the final time and the informal engagement was done within 10 days. There were no arguments like before and everyone was happy, joyful as though there had never been any problem. We are now happily married with one beautiful child and our families are so close.

The answer is leave it down to God and have complete faith in him. Everything happens for a reason. If it is your destiny to marry your man nothing can prevent it. If not, then you can hold on for as long as you like and it will never happen. Either way you will need to accept the outcome. If it does not happen something better will come your way. This is the frame of mind I live my life by and God has given me more than I could dream of.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh.


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