IN ARRANGED MARRIAGES DO WE ONLY MARRY THE DHARMA IN OUR PARTNER? WHAT ABOUT EMOTIONS DON'T THEY MATTER OR PERSONALITY? ARRANGED MARRIAGES AREN'T EASY TO DO. WHAT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM? I'M ONLY 18 AND MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO GET MARRIED. I'M NOT READY FOR SUCH A COMMITMENT, WHAT CAN I DO?
A RESPONSE IS DESPERATELY NEEDED THANK YOU
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Reply
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Don't do anything you are not prepared to commit to. Parents need to realize the world is changing. It may or may not be for the better, but it is changing. Your parents are not going to live your life for you. Even if you agree to do what they say, you are the one who is saying yes, not them. So don't do it unless you mean it.
Emotions are like waves on the water, they pass and are gone. If you think you are going to base a lifelong relationship on emotion that is not smart. Personality changes with time. If your outlook on life changes, you may not like her personality anymore.
I am an American who adopted the Sikh path. I had an arranged marriage 29 years ago. We grew together gradually. Love and respect were earned. Her personality bothered me at first, now it's great. She has changed and so have I, but our love of the Guru is our common center. Our children and grandchildren are very solid in the Dharma.
If you are willing to go through an arranged marriage and actually make it work then go ahead. If you are going to be married in title only and cheat on your wife, it's better not to even start. You will only hurt her and yourself, and get a lot of karma you don't need.
On the other hand, if you marry for "love", then you have to honor that commitment to infinity and not change your mind when you don't feel like it anymore.
LSK
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Re: Arranged Marriage Faces Love Marriage (04/02/2000)