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Summary of Question:	Prayer To Help Brother
Category:	Gurbani
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 10/05/2004 6:16 PM MDT

Sat Naam Waheguru !

I have a brother who got into university but never finished his education although he went on for four years. He is addicted to internet and computer games. he seems to be evading some major issue in his life and because he is always keeping himself "busy" with this "fun world" he cannot realize that he is wasting away his time. He does not seem to realize that he needs to be independent and that there will be nobody to take care of him once his parents are not there. Nobody in the family wants to take any action; I think it is the fear that if they take away the computer from him then he will go into other sorts of addictions. He does not want to resolve his issues and my family seems to be afraid. I am very worried about him and want to know if there is any specific path or prayer that I could do for him in order to make him come into the real world. Whenever I try to advise or talk to him he uses foul language. He thinks I am his enemy. I have already suggested to him and my family that he counsel a psychiatrist. however, he does not want to. I really want to help. How can i help someone who is not ready to help himself? he seems to be living out of himself. Please suggest a prayer as soon as possible. I understand that you are very busy but please try your best.
Thanks.

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reply
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Dear one,
This is not your problem, personally. Your brother must take responsibility for himself. The only prayer I can suggest is the prayer to Guru Ram Das, the lord of miracles."Dhan Dhan Ram Das Gur" -- it's in Amrit kirtan and also in the 'shabds for printing' link on the Sikhnet homepage.

Frankly, the rest of your family is COMPLETELY enabling this situation. From my perspective here, the best way to help him is to kick him out of the house, or at the very least, remove the computer and the internet connection. I know I sound harsh, but the current situation won't change until the heads of the household become firm themselves. He will never learn so long as your parents simply sit by and speak to him words he won't hear. ACTION is needed. Be aware that addictions require special treatment, and so part of the action needed is to remove the thing that enables the addiction and to get professional help.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK