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Summary of Question:	Guru Gobind Singh Ji's Rehat-Marrying Non-Sikh
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 7/07/2001 8:58 PM MDT

I have read your responses about Sikh marriage and you said that you reply according to Guru Granth Sahib's teaching and Rehat given by Guru Gobind Singh Ji. You said that a Sikh can marry anyone belonging to different religion. But could you give me some lines from Guru Gobind Singh Ji's Gurbani that clearly states that a Sikh can marry anyone. I just got hold of Gurbani and it says a Sikh MUST marry a Sikh. It says one is not a Sikh who marries a Muslim or Hindu. Khalsa is 100% PURE so how can Khalsa get mixed up with those who are not pures. Hindus were never loyal to Sikhs. Even in the times of Guru they cheated. Turks caused so many troubles. Millions of Singhs died all because of Islam. They said no to Islam. Now they say they are our friend but if they are then why don't they repair Sikh Gurdwaras in Pakistan and give their control over to Sikhs. Guru Gobind Singh Ji said:

Turk Turkani Te Bache, Turak Na Kareh Sikh,
Chaar Baran Gu Bhaye Jo Khae Khwawe Bhikh.

Here Guru Ji said stay away from muslims and never get in any relationship with them. Then again He said:

Bekhan Ki Bani Taje Taje Shitla Bhog,
Kalma Ka Ann Door Dhar Turkan Jane Rog.

Here Guru Ji said stay away from hindu rituals and hindus and don't read Kalma like muslims and getting in relationship with a muslim is like a desease. So why would you say that it's OK for Sikhs to marry muslims and hindus and white christians. I would request you that please read Guru Ji's Rehat. They are the same Muslims who swore to destroy Sikhism and even kids were killed. They are the same hindus who attacked Darbar Sahib and killed 300,000 Sikh in last 17 years. Same hindus who betrayed SIkhs in 1947 and still do. So a Sikh MUST marry a Sikh. Another verse of Guru Ji says something like this:

Turk Pari Jo Parre Jeevat Lae Na Sukh,
Turak Meet Bisah Kar Gur Te Sadda Bemukh.

So if you want to be Bemukh then it's fine but I would let everybody know that don't be in darkness. A Sikh should marry a Sikh. This is Guru Ji's Rehat. Forget Muslims and Hindus. Guru Ji said don't even sit with Muslims and eat together.

Turak Ko Matha Kabhoon Na Jukaye
Turak Sung Bathe Nahe Khae

So I think you understand now. Please tell everyone that Sikhs should marry Sikhs. If you think you are not SIkh then marry non-Sikh. No Problem. But that will be showing back to Guru and becoming Bemukh.

It's not that we should hate non-Sikhs but we shouldn't have any relationship with Muslims and Hindus. Marry Sikhs like Guru Ji said.

Guru Ka Sikh
Khalsa

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REPLY
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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I still do not agree with you and believe that you have misinterpreted Guru Gobind Singh?s meaning. I have spoken to a Punjabi University professor who has taught Sikhi and Sikh history and teachings for 30 years. I asked him about the lines that you quote above as Guruji?s ?rehat?. He said you are incorrect. Guru Gobind Singh always wanted his Sikhs to be exalted and not stoop to the level of pseudo-spirituality or unethical behavior common in his time. When 10th Master said that we should not have intimate relations with Muslims, he was speaking in reference to something very specific. It was common for Muslims to take Sikh women who were prisoners of war and use them as sex slaves. Guruji?s warriors asked if they should respond in kind and have Muslim women who were POWs also as sex slaves. Guru Gobind Singh?s reply was that we should not stoop to the level of the Muslims, and ?not have intimate relations with Muslim women?. So, he wasn?t even talking about Sikh women and Muslim men, he was saying Sikh war
riors must not take Muslim female POWs as sex slaves in any fashion. This is in keeping with Guru Nanak?s admonition that we must treat women with utmost respect always, since they bear Gurus, Kings, and Saints.

Secondly, Guru?s admonition not to observe Hindu rituals or the teachings of the Qu?aran is not considered to be his quote, though it is in Dasam Granth. In any event, it does not mean that Hindu or Muslim religious books are full of non- or untruths only. What IS meant here is that the ONLY AUTHORITY Sikhs honor is Shabd Guru in form of Siri Guru Granth Sahib.

Do not forget that Guru Gobind Singh made Siri Guru Granth Sahib our Guru, he did not make Dasam Granth our Guru. He saw no need to add to it his own bani.

You are missing one of the KEY points of Sikhi as started by Guru Nanak. When Guru Nanak came out of the river, he said ?there is no Hindu, there is no Musselman (Muslim).? What he meant is that the concept of being spiritual, or of religion by birth, is nonsense. Remember that in Guru?s Nanak?s India it was believed that if you are born a Brahmin, you ARE a Brahmin. That one not born a Brahmin could not be one. Guru Nanak?s Asa Di Var, Sidh Gosht, and Ramkali on Dakhnee all go on at length about the true concept of spiritual society, that anyone can become spiritual by practice of the Naam, and that one born a Brahmin is not a Brahmin unless s/he proves it by their practice and action.

So, I am not disobeying Sikhi at all when I do not tell people to marry only a Sikh. I was born Catholic and adopted Sikhi. Those who are born Sikh are not necessarily members of Panth Khalsa unless they consciously choose to be so by their practice of bani, bana, simran and seva. By extension, then, if they have not been taught the values and virtues of Sikhi from an early age, by parents and/or mentors who live what they teach, then it is unlikely that they will care if they marry a Sikh. This is why I will not tell any Sikh to marry ONLY a Sikh.

As for your anger at how the Muslims and Hindus treated us, that is understandable. But remember that those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves. So consider this, and instead of projecting your anger on anyone who does not fit your idea of devoted GurSikh, practice the Naam and transmute your anger to love and compassion for ALL of God?s creation, including Hindus and Muslims.

Did it ever occur to you that one of the ways Siri Guru might be trying to heal the rifts between Sikhs, Hindus, and Muslims is through occasional dual-religion marriages? If a devoted Hindu marries a devoted Sikh, their children will have to learn aspects of both paths, and then they will understand both and not carry the common prejudices. So, don?t judge Guru?s hand in this world.

Finally, you and I are in no position to judge anyone?s relationship to Guru, no matter how tempting it is and no matter what we see on the outside. Since when do you know FOR CERTAIN what is in anyone?s heart when it comes to his or her relationship to Guru? There are very devoted Sikhs out there who are NOT married to Sikhs. Being married to non-Sikh does not make anyone Baymukh. Guru tells us over and over that this Creation is God?s play. So, do you think that those Sikhs who marry non-Sikhs are not part of God?s play? They have their karms and lessons and marrying a non-Sikh could well be part of the destiny on their forehead for reasons that your or I will never know.

Guru ang sang,
-DKK